


Countdown

by mangochi



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Bottom Jim, Bottom McCoy, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:05:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7400005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangochi/pseuds/mangochi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No way,” Jim says disbelievingly as soon as Bones tells him. “I call bullshit.”</p>
<p>“God’s truth,” Bones says solemnly, perfectly serious. “Hasn’t failed me yet.”</p>
<p>“But-” Jim splutters, more impressed than anything else that Bones, Bones, of all people, is standing here in front of him, telling him that his ritual for good luck on finals week is to have an orgasm for every point he needs to ace his tests. “But-”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is really just a lot of porn that I can't even completely tag for

“No way,” Jim says disbelievingly as soon as Bones tells him. “I call bullshit.”

“God’s truth,” Bones says solemnly, perfectly serious. “Hasn’t failed me yet.”

“But-” Jim splutters, more impressed than anything else that Bones,  _Bones_ , of all people, is standing here in front of him, telling him that his ritual for good luck on finals week is to have an orgasm for every point he needs to ace his tests. “ _But_ -”

“I’m telling you,” Bones says, shrugging nonchalantly. “Got me all the way through med school. Why shouldn’t it work now?”

Jim receives a vivid mental image of a younger Bones, leaning back against the headboard of his dorm bed, his hand curled around his cock and-

“I’ve got twenty-eight,” Bones says, interrupting his thoughts mid-train wreck, and Jim blinks hard to dispel the vision. Bones is frowning down thoughtfully at his PADD, lips pursed. “That’s a tad bit more than I expected.”

“You’ve got seven days,” Jim says incredulously. “That’s four a day, isn’t it?”

Bones smirks at him, tosses him his PADD. “Go on, then. How many do you need?”

“This is crazy,” Jim argues, but he takes the PADD anyway and performs the calculations. “Twelve,” he says, not sure if he’s relieved or disappointed. “Now what?”

“Now….” Bones takes his PADD back and sets it on the table, crossing their room to perch on his bed. “Now, I better get started. If not, I’ll be behind by four already.”

“Now?” Jim demands. “Here? _Now_?” He tries not to think about anything south of his waist when Bones starts fiddling with his belt, flicking the clasp open and slipping it from its loops. “Jesus, Bones….” _At least wait until I’m gone_. The words die in his mouth when Bones’ hand disappears in his pants, and he stares dumbly as Bones utters a long sigh of pleasure.

If there’s a proper protocol on how to handle his roommate jerking off in front of his very eyes, Jim doesn’t know it.

“Fuck,” Jim says aloud, and Bones echoes it, his head falling back and his eyes sliding shut as he wriggles and pushes his pants farther down his hips. Jim catches tantalizing glimpses of Bones’ cock from where he stands, and he finds himself edging closer instead of towards the door like any sane human being.

“You…..still here?” Bones gasps, cracking an eye open, and Jim swallows hard. He drops to his knees without thinking, right there in front of Bones, and grabs Bones’ wrist.

“Let me,” he says, and he hears Bones groan low in his chest.

“Jim,” Bones starts, when Jim brushes his hand away and stares intently at Bones’ cock. “ _Jim_ ,” he says again, his voice strained, when Jim leans forward and exhales, breathing against the wet head of his cock.

“Four, huh?” Jim murmurs contemplatively, before his tongue flicks out to lap at the underside of Bones’ cock.

Bones jerks, his hands flying to cradle the back of Jim’s head. “ _Fuck_ , kid, you-”

“Mmm,” Jim moans in agreement, tasting Bones on his tongue, sharp and bitter and hot. He shifts closer, right between Bones’ spread knees, and pushes his hands up under Bones’ shirt, feeling warm skin quivering beneath his palms. Bones’ cock is heavy and thick in his mouth, stretching his lips to an almost uncomfortable degree, and Jim fucking loves it. 

His hand wanders higher, his fingertips swiping over a nipple. Bones twitches and hastily bites off a curse, his cock jumping in Jim’s mouth, and Jim pauses, rolling his thumb over the tightening nub of flesh beneath his hand.

“Fuck,” Bones groans, leaning back on his hands and arching into Jim’s hand. Jim hums and pushes deeper, breathing shallowly through his nose as he slides down as far as he can go, feeling Bones’ pulse throb against his tongue.

Bones stays silent for the most part as Jim picks up his pace, bobbing his head up and down on Bones’ cock as the other man shivers beneath him. He lets out the occasional grunt, a small groan of appreciation when Jim does something particularly inspiring, but otherwise remains almost dishearteningly quiet.

Until Jim glances up and catches Bones staring at him, his face flushed and his mouth swollen from biting his lips, the cords in his neck standing out as he tightens his death grip on the sheets behind him.

“Don’t stop,” Bones breathes, his eyes wide, and the world violently turns on end.

Jim pulls off with a slick pop, ignoring Bones’ stuttered protests as he moves up and forward, pushing Bones back on the bed. He feels Bones’ cock slide across his thigh and shifts his weight as he lands, bracing himself with his forearms on either side of Bones’ head.

Bones stares up at him, confused and still horny as hell, his pupils dilated and his lips parted and wet.

Jim looks hard at his mouth, and unconsciously licks his lips.

Beneath him, Bones _whines_ , and Jim feels his last strand of fragile restraint snap. He leans down and brushes his lips across Bones’ cheek, his jaw, drags them across stubbled skin and pausing at the corner of his mouth.

A second passes, an eternity, then Bones turns his face and presses his mouth to Jim’s.

It’s a race from that point on, clothes flying off in their haste and tangling in a pile on the floor, and Jim groans when Bones grabs him roughly by the hips, pulling them flush together. He’s as hard as Bones, as been since the first second he saw Bones’ dick, and he shudders when Bones’ hand slips down between their bodies.

“Fuck, Bones.” Jim clutches at Bones’ shoulders, buries his face against the side of Bones’ neck. He can’t keep himself from grinding down, rutting into Bones’ fist as Bones clutches him tight, his arm heavy around Jim’s waist.

“That’s it,” Bones mutters, his breath hot and unsteady in Jim’s ear. Jim fumbles down, circles Bones’ cock with slippery fingers and feels Bones quiver in shock.

“You don’t hafta-”

“You need two more than me,” Jim manages, tightening his grip. “It’s only…fuck…it’s only fair, Bones.”

Together, they fall into a jerky, but functional rhythm, their knuckles bumping occasionally, Jim’s heart racing faster with every harsh breath in his ear, every additional sign of Bones swiftly losing control, and he grins elatedly when Bones suddenly grabs at him and lets out a startled moan. A second later, Bones’ cock twitches hard in Jim’s hand, spurting over his fingers and dripping onto Bones’ stomach.

Bones moans again, almost in disbelief, and it’s that raw sound that brings Jim over the edge, and he comes without warning in Bones’ hand.

Jim topples uselessly onto his side, trying to catch his breath. The sparks haven’t completely faded yet before he catches sight of Bones lifting his hand, bringing his fingertips to his mouth curiously, and Jim’s gut clenches again at the sight of Bones’ tongue flicking out at the sticky mess on his skin.

“Jesus,” Jim mutters, and Bones turns slightly towards him, his eyes crinkling in a dazed smirk.

“That’s one down,” he says, and then he’s rolling over on top of Jim, nudging a sweaty thigh between Jim’s legs and grinning. “You feeling lucky yet?”

…………………..

An hour and a half later, Jim thinks he’s died somewhere along the way and landed in some form of heaven.

There’s no other way he’s here, lying between Bones’ legs and patiently working a third finger in his reddened, loosened hole, still slick from Jim’s come two orgasms ago.

He’s never been more glad for Bones’ insistence on getting the both of them vaccinated for every form of treatable disease known to man on a yearly basis. He can still feel it now, Bones’ tight heat around him, in him, the power that comes from knowing the pleasure he’s offering to another being, another soul. The feeling of coming inside Bones and filling him, hot and wet and so damn addicting that Jim can taste him on every inch of his skin.

Jim raises his head from where he’s been steadily sucking a trail up Bones’ thigh, scraping a red mark against the skin of Bones’ hip with his teeth as he crooks his fingers deep, and Bones cries out wildly, his back curving up from the bed as his hands scrabble for purchase on Jim’s shoulders.

“Jim, _shit-_ I can’t-”

“You can,” Jim says breathlessly. “Four, Bones, come on, you can do it-”

“Jim!” Bones groans, long and agonized. His voice cracks, fades into nothing as his hips thrust up, his body clenching almost painfully around Jim’s fingers as he comes. A few drops of come squeeze out the tip of his already exhausted cock, Bones moaning pitifully with every tremor that shakes through him, and if Jim wasn’t already on the brink of collapse, he’d have come again at the very sight.

Bones makes an incoherent sound and pats weakly at Jim, who starts and carefully eases his fingers out of Bones. He lets his fingertips catch on the swollen rim as he edges out, manages a smile at the peeved hitch in Bones’ breathing.

He straightens and kneels, letting his gaze wander over Bones. Limbs sprawled out across rumpled sheets, skin flushed and wet with sweat and the evidence of six combined orgasms. Bones’ cock, glistening and sated against the inside of his thigh, twitches feebly under Jim’s scrutiny, and Bones scowls, tugs halfheartedly at the sheets to cover himself.

“Need a shower,” he mumbles, kicking the sheets away again.

“Mmm.” Jim flops down on his stomach next to Bones, not caring about the sticky patch he’s half lying on. Two exams tomorrow, he thinks. Two more orgasms.

“Four down,” Bones muses, as if sensing the direction of Jim’s thoughts. His arm brushes against Jim’s, so briefly that Jim can’t sense if it’s deliberate. “Twenty-four to go.”

“It sounds terrifying when you say it like that,” Jim slurs, closing his eyes. He shifts closer to Bones, hoping it’s subtle enough to pass as an involuntary twitch.

“You think?” Bones chuckles quietly, then sighs. “You’ll be the death of me, kid."

…………………..

Jim lies awake that night, listening to Bones’ quiet breathing in the bed across the room and trying desperately not to think too hard about the fact that he’s just fucked his best friend.

Multiple times. 

Four times, if he counts the first and last.

_Oh God_.

He pulls his pillow over his face, rolling towards the wall in flustered bewilderment. Every time he closes his eyes, Bones’ face is there, flushed and sweaty, hazel eyes glazed with pleasure as he pants against Jim’s neck, writhing as Jim adds another finger.

_“Fuck, Jim…..”_

He remembers the precise moment he realizes what he’s about to do, Bones naked and spread before him, slick with lube and traces of their first orgasms smeared over his stomach.

_“C'mon,” Bones urges him, his voice scratchy and hoarse, and Jim grinds against the crease of Bones’ thigh, desperately hard again and still wildly delighted that Bones scoffed at the idea of a condom and assured him it isn’t necessary. “Fuck me, Jim, c'mon….”_

_And when Jim sinks in, when he feels Bones’ muscles clench instinctively before slowly giving way…_

_It’s a struggle to keep his eyes open, to watch Bones’ mouth fall open and his eyebrows draw together as Jim eases in by torturing millimeters. Strings of vowels drop from Bones’ lips, Jim’s name coming out strangled and needy, and Jim’s chest hurts, worse than the time he got his ribs kicked in and Bones yelled at him for hours. Bones clenches around him, and Jim feels it in every inch of his body, his cock aching with the sheer intensity of it. He clutches onto Bones’ hips, grits his teeth, and tries not to come while Bones falls apart beneath him._

_“That’s it,” Bones groans. “That’s it, Jim, c'mon, do it,_ do it- _” and Jim pushes into that incredible heat again, gasping when Bones squeezes him tightly, almost painfully-_

Shit, he’s getting hard again now, just thinking about it. Jim shifts restlessly in his bed, pressing a palm against the base of his traitorous dick and telling himself to calm down.

But all he can feel is Bones, all around him, _everywhere_ , his sweat on Jim’s tongue and his fingers grasping at Jim’s arms. He’s tight, oh God, so fucking tight, Jim’s blood pounding in his ears as he bends down and kisses Bones hard, pushes his tongue inside Bones’ mouth and swallows Bones’ moans eagerly. His heart beating, racing, knowing it won’t win the battle, but maybe it’ll win the war, and it’s a goddamn cataclysm, the way Jim feels when Bones says his name and comes violently, and fuck, Jim hasn’t even touched his cock yet-

“Shit,” Jim mutters, gripping his own cock harder, but it’s too late, he’s about to come in his boxers at the mere memory of Bones flexing around him, oversensitive but still _needing_ -

_“Fuck me, Jim,” Bones says, slurs, the words barely stringing together. Crazy fucker, Jim thinks, impressed despite himself._

_Bones spreads his legs wider impatiently, reaches down and grabs Jim’s ass to pull him closer. “C'mon, kid,” he growls, and Jim takes a deep breath, pushes Bones’ thigh up and out and fucks him faster, harder. He watches the way Bones bites his lip to keep from crying out, listens to the sounds of the faint moans that escape anyway, inarticulate grunts and groans as he reaches down to fist his half-hard cock._

_He’s beautiful, unrestrained, a Bones that Jim’s never seen before, and already he’s ruined for anyone else. He reaches out, drags two fingers across the sticky mess on Bones’ stomach and lowers them, rubs roughly around Bones’ stretched rim as he thrusts in simultaneously, but Bones keens in surprise, his muscles clamping down feebly._

_“Bones,” Jim manages to stammer, wide-eyed and so close, so fucking close- “Bones, I’m gonna-”_

_Bones digs his nails into Jim’s ass, leans up and bites at the side of his neck, and Jim comes with a heady rush._

_He comes and he drags Bones with him, feeling Bones spurt weakly against his stomach. His vision flickers at the glistening white streaks added to the already drying puddle, so much of it now that it’s dripping down Bones’ side._

_“Jim,” Bones says breathlessly, sagging back on the bed. “Fuck, that was…..was something……”_

_Jim grunts in agreement and shifts his weight, shivering when he feels his own come against his cock as he slides out. He nearly chokes when he sees it dribbling slowly onto the sheets from Bones’ still twitching hole, and he has to resist the urge to lick it away, to taste himself and Bones’ and wring them both completely dry._

_“Jim,” Bones says again._

“…..im. Hey.”

Jim jerks, yanking his hand quickly from his boxers at the sound of Bones’ sleep-roughened voice. “You still up?”

“Could ask you the same,” Bones says reproachfully. “Go to sleep, kid, we’ve got tests tomorrow. And you know. Six more orgasms combined.”

Jim’s erection dies, and he stares blankly at the wall. Well, if it’s not like he went into this expecting anything more than the unsaid parameters Bones set; just two guys helping each other out with a crazy good luck ritual.

It’s not like it really matters, if he thinks about it.

“Hey, you listening?”

“Yeah,” Jim says.

The thing is, though, that it does matter. It matters a hell of a lot, and the tragedy is that he’s the only one who feels it.


	2. Chapter 2

They get right to it after taking their tests for that day, stocking up for the next day, and Jim learns every inch of Bones’ mouth in the best way possible. 

They’re barely through the door when Bones shoves him up against it, hands fumbling at the fastenings on Jim’s pants. He tastes like mint, sharp and cold from the gum he chews during exams. 

 _Testing technique_ , he explained to Jim once.  _Brings back memories of studying while you’re takin’ the exam. You should try it._

But Jim never gets around to it and the only memories that he can conjure up are of Bones’ body, his skin, the fiery heat of his core as he squeezes Jim tight and groans out his name in broken syllables. If anything,  _this_ particular study technique is going to cause him to fail.

But he doesn’t think of that now, doesn’t think of anything at all when Bones yanks his pants down and drops to his knees.

“Oh God,” Jim offers weakly, gripping the doorknob behind him to keep from losing balance when Bones presses forward and nuzzles at his navel, tongue flicking out to tease the trail of hair. “Oh, fuck.”

“Gettin’ around to it,” Bones grumbles, but he glances up at Jim goodnaturedly before turning his face and mouthing loosely at the base of his cock.

Jim goes from half hard to raging erection so fast that he can physically feel the blood draining from his head. “Bones,” he gasps, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep from moaning aloud. “ _Bones_.”

Bones hums questioningly, pushing his hands under the hem of Jim’s tunic as he sucks sharply at Jim’s hip. “Mmm?”

Jim curses, doubling over and grabbing feebly at Bones’ hair to ground himself. Bones grunts in annoyance and swats at his hand, pinning it back against the door.

“No touching,” he says, his voice already raspy, and Jim feels a pang of disappointment. He swallows it quickly, nods, and shudders when Bones’ mouth closes around the head of his cock, his tongue dipping in and out to tease at the slit.

All Jim can do is cling to the door as Bones begins to blow him determinedly, brow furrowed and eyes closed in concentration as he sucks Jim off with the sole intent of getting him off. It’s fast, brutal, Jim’s heart racing and stuttering whenever Bones sucks particularly hard. Several times, he feels Bones’ teeth clip the underside of his cock, the spike of pain only adding to the building pressure in his core.

In the end, Jim has to reach out, has to touch. He rests his hand lightly on Bones’ jaw, traces a trembling thumb over the bulge in Bones’ cheek and shuddering when Bones moans around him, deep and low.

Bones reaches out and grabs Jim’s ass with one hand, squeezing him tight and hauling him deeper into the tantalizing heat. His other hand is down between his own legs, pulling roughly at his erection, and Jim strains for a glimpse of it, longs to reach down, to taste it, _feel_ it-

“Fuck me, Bones,” he forces out, teetering on the edge when Bones’ fingers slide around to tease between his cheeks, his skin slick with sweat. “P-Please, I can’t-”

Bones pulls off with an abrupt pop, resting his forehead heavily against Jim’s thigh as he bends his head and fists himself faster. “Not yet,” he mutters hoarsely, gripping Jim so tightly that he knows it’ll bruise. “Not yet, Jim, I gotta- I gotta-“

He comes without warning, a low moan rumbling against Jim’s leg as Bones shudders violently, his shoulders jerking through the aftershocks. “Fuuuck,” he groans, and Jim’s heart leaps when he sees the drops of come on the floor between his feet. Bones got off on _sucking_ him, and it’s the hottest damn thing he’s ever seen-

“Bones,” Jim says desperately, his cock jutting into empty air. “Bones, hey-”

Bones raises his head, grins dazedly up at him. “I know.” He closes his fingers, slick with his own release, around Jim’s erection, gives him a hard, tight stroke. “Let’s get this in me, huh?”

Jim swears painfully, lets Bones maneuver him onto his bed and peel off the rest of his clothes. “You’re an ass,” he complains, watching fixedly as Bones straddles him, raising his arms to wrestle his own shirt over his head. “You got to come already.”

“I need two more than you,” Bones reminds him. “Don’t worry, kid, you’ll get your fair share.” He reaches down and balances himself with a hand against the base of Jim’s neck, rocking back gently against Jim’s straining erection. Jim groans, low enough in his throat that he can feel it vibrating beneath Bones’ palm, and that only drives him further up the wall.

“Bones, I swear to _God_ , if you don’t-“

Bones leans down and kisses him hard, shoves his tongue into his mouth and down his throat and Jim forgets how to breathe, much less speak. He fumbles upwards, slides his hands down the sweaty length of Bones’ back and settles on his ass.

"Do it,” Bones urges, his stubble scratching against Jim’s lips as he speaks. “Been ready for you, kid, c’mon.”

Jim moans wordlessly and reaches farther down, pulling Bones’ cheeks apart and easing his fingers carefully-

“Oh,” he says, when his finger slides effortlessly. Bones grins against his jaw, pulls away to smirk down at Jim’s dumbfounded expression. “

"What d’you think I slipped away for during lunch?” he breathes, rolling his hips back against Jim’s fingers. “Told ya I’m ready.”

Jim nudges a second finger in, feels it slip in to his knuckles, and he suddenly sees a vivid image of Bones crammed in a restroom stall, one foot braced on the toilet seat and fingers reaching back awkwardly between his legs to stretch himself open, just for Jim-

Bones’ cock is still sticky and messy, and he runs his hands along the half-hard shaft, gathering his slick release in his already dripping hands. Jim has enough presence of mind to wonder what the hell he’s planning, just as Bones reaches around and gives his erection a firm stroke, coating it in still-warm come.

“Ah, shit, Bones-” _That’s fucking hot_. The words die in his throat when Bones rises up on his knees, scooting back and away from Jim’s hand as he lines himself up and-

“Hold on-” Jim starts, and the rest is lost in guttural translation when Bones rocks down hard.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Bones says with relish, his eyelids fluttering shut and his head rolling back as he settles down fully on Jim’s cock, clenching and fluttering around him unpredictably. “You’re fucking huge, kid.”

“Gradfn,” Jim chokes out intelligently, clutching desperately at the fraying edges of his control. He can’t come now, not when he’s just gotten inside Bones, he doesn’t _want_ to come yet without seeing Bones fall apart on top of him. “Bastard. The hell d’you-“

“Got impatient,” Bones says breathlessly, opening his eyes dazedly. They’re glassy and distracted, his lips red and parted as he licks them absently, leaning down to balance his damp hands on Jim’s chest. “Don’t come yet.”

Jim swallows hard and fights down the urge to shoot right then and there at the growl in Bones’ voice. “Yes, sir,” he manages, raising his hands up above his head and grasping at the headboard. Bones grins approvingly at that, tucking his chin to his chest in concentration as he begins to fuck himself in earnest.

He sets a relentless pace, rising nearly completely off Jim’s cock before slamming down again, each time sending a sharp jolt of pleasure up Jim’s spine that subsides before it has time to build. Jim clutches helplessly at the headboard, too winded to groan as he gasps for air, listening to the creak of the mattress beneath them and the muffled slap of skin on skin.

Bones has no such restrictions, moaning in abandon above him as he leans back, propping himself up against Jim’s thighs and bucking faster. He’s fully hard again, precome leaking out the tip of his cock and rolling freely down his shift, dripping on Jim’s stomach in thick drops with every thrust.

Jim watches the flex of Bones’ muscles as he rides his cock, the gleam of sweat on his skin, catching in the scattering of hair along his chest and abdomen. It’s a mesmerizing dance that Bones performs above him, drawing him in again and again and fuck, he’s been blind to not realize just how beautiful Bones is.

“I’m an idiot,” he says aloud, and Bones grunts down confusedly.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, I just- oh, shit.” Jim bites down hard on his lip to keep from coming, but he can’t hold back the sharp upwards thrust of his hips. Bones keens, startled, his eyes widening, and his cock twitches, dribbling even more.

“Fuck, Jim,” Bones groans, agonized. “Told ya to hold still.”

“Didn’t,” Jim corrected, too tightly wound to say more. “Told me- not to come- _haven’t_.” He eyes Bones’ cock distractedly as the words are punched out of him; it’s a scant couple of inches away from his mouth, if he just leans up and reaches, he could….he could-

"Jim!” Bones gasps, startling him from his thoughts, and he blinks up at Bones. The man’s face is flushed and contorted, one hand now wrapped around his cock and stripping it furiously. “Jim, I’m gonna-”

 _Fuck it_ , Jim thinks, and he pushes himself up on his elbows, ignoring Bones’ surprised grunt as he opens his mouth and licks at the head of Bones’ cock, probing intently at the slit and tasting-

Bones comes with a strangled yell, arching up as white stripes of come spurt across Jim’s face, his own stomach, reaching almost all the way up to his collarbones.

“Fuck,” Jim says, falling back as Bones trembles and shakes above him, his thighs flexing as he grinds down on Jim’s cock, barely pulling out at all as he rides out the aftershocks. He can feel Bones’ come dripping down his face, tracing itching trails along his cheek and the bridge of his nose. “ _Bones_.”

"Ahh,” Bones sighs, a lazy smile curling at his lips as he regards Jim. “That was good.”

Jim growls and plants his feet firmly, thrusting up pointedly into Bones’ pliant body. “Excuse you.”

“Patience, young grass- _fucker_ -” Bones swears, when Jim grabs his softening cock and gives it a brisk squeeze.

"Pretty sure that’s not how it goes.”

“Fuck you,” Bones groans, squirming in discomfort, and Jim releases him.

“Please,” Jim says, suddenly seriously again, and Bones’ eyes flicker down to his in surprise.

Jim reaches up without thinking, wiping his hand through the mess on his face and bringing his fingers to his mouth curiously.

“Jim,” Bones breathes, his eyes wide and intent on Jim’s lips. “What…”

Jim promptly sucks his fingers into his mouth, tasting Bones on his tongue. Bones moans faintly, and Jim meets his eyes with a smirk.

“You crazy, hot fucker,” Bones curses, bending down and licking his way determinedly into Jim’s mouth. “The hell am I supposed to do with you?”

“Could always fuck me,” Jim says hopefully, between Bones’ snatching kisses, and Bones barks out a startled laugh. He smooths his palms over Jim’s face, wiping away most of the mess and rubbing what’s left into Jim’s skin, scraping over his stubble.

“Bit too soon for that,” he says regretfully. “Here-” He tightens his knees around Jim’s ribs and rolls to the side, pulling Jim on top of him. The new position shifts the angle, and Bones tightens down reflexively, drawing out a sharp hiss from Jim. He has to catch himself hastily on the bed to keep from crushing Bones, who quirks a crooked smile up at him.

“Come for me,” Bones says, tugging Jim’s forehead down to rest against his own. “C’mon, Jim, _fuck_ me.”

Jim groans , the final strand of his control snapping and dissipating, and he grabs the back of Bones’ legs, pushing them up and out to give him more access as he braces himself and drives in hard.

"Yes,” Bones says repeatedly against his lips, pressing sloppy kisses to Jim’s panting mouth, biting at his chin and the edge of his jaw. Every wild thrust carries a little more desperation, Bones’ body sliding a couple of inches up the bed as Jim fucks him ruthlessly. “Jim, come on, come _on-_ ”

"Bones,” Jim gasps brokenly. “Bones, I-” His fingers are slipping on Bones’ skin; he drops one leg only to have Bones wrap it tightly around his waist, bringing him in even closer. “I can’t, I’m gonna-”

“Come for me,” Bones says again, his voice rough and needy, and Jim loses it. He buries his face in the crook of Bones’ neck, tasting the sharp tang of salt as he thrusts in one last time and spills into Bones’ body. Bones clenches around him steadily, milking him dry, and Jim’s all but useless by the time he manages to roll onto his back, blinking reverently at the ceiling.

“God,” he finally says, when his heart’s slowed enough to drop back into his chest. “That was…that was…”

“You’re a damn good fuck,” Bones mutters, almost to himself. “Figures.”

“What was that?”

“Nothin’.” Bones is quiet for a second, before he sits up and looks down consideringly at Jim. “Three more to go,” he says. “You still after that fuck?”

“God, yes,” Jim croaks instantly, and Bones’ grin is fleeting, but bright.

“Turn over,” he instructs, kneeling back to give Jim room, and Jim scowls up at him mulishly.

“I want to see you,” he argues feebly, and Bones rolls his eyes.

“Not this time,” he says, and his voice is unexpectedly gentle as he rolls Jim onto his stomach. “It’ll be easier like this.”

“Fuck ‘ _easier_ ’,” Jim grumbles, but he hugs his pillow tightly to his chest and lets Bones arrange him on the bed. He can feel his heart pounding through layers of fabric and stuffing, his pulse increasing erratically when he hears Bones shuffling around behind him, the click of a bottle opening.

He jumps despite himself when Bones spreads him open, swiping a slick finger down his exposed crack. “Jesus-“

"Relax.” Bones exhales against his sensitive skin, his thumbs spreading

“Ah,” Jim gasps, when something warm and wet and decidedly not Bones’ cock or finger nudges at his entrance. “Bones?”

Bones nips him sharply on one cheek, and Jim arches up in shock, his voice catching in his throat. Bones licks at him in broad strokes, teasing with the tip of his tongue until Jim’s all but writhing in desperation, trying to fuck back against Bones’ face.

Then Bones slips a slippery fingertip in, working past Jim’s loosened muscles and nudging in alongside his tongue. Jim whines at the sudden intrusion, clawing at the sheets, and Bones hums in satisfaction. The vibrations add an edge to the surging pleasure, and Jim’s hips jerk involuntarily. He’s already more than half-hard again, rutting against the mattress, and in the end, Bones has to pin him down, pushing his tongue and fingers deep inside Jim’s body.

Jim outright whimpers when Bones abruptly pulls away, leaving him empty and dazed. “Bones-“

Bones suddenly presses against his back, his arm wrapping tight around Jim’s waist and hitching his hips up higher. Something hot and damp and very much at attention slides against his ass, rubbing against the back of his balls, and Jim could cry from the anticipation.

“You-”

“You’re a goddamn menace,” Bones says, his voice strained as he lines himself up. “Jesus _Christ_ , Jim.” He pushes in a little with every word, and Jim moans low and deep when he feels himself being stretched open. God, he’s never been fucked like this before, Bones’ heartbeat wild and pounding against his back, Bones’ breath panting against his ear as he thrusts harder into Jim.

He’ll never complain about a physical again, Jim decides impulsively, moaning when Bones slides in deeper, deeper, so _hot_ that Jim feels himself burning from the inside out.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groans. He can’t breathe, can’t see, all he can do is feel as Bones’ hands- they’re so fucking large, how has Jim never  _noticed_ \- rove over his body, pinching at his nipples, scratching across his stomach, his mouth sucking messily at the back of Jim’s neck.

“Jim,” Bones says, his voice heavy with intent. He wraps a hand tight around Jim’s cock, jerking him off in counterpoint to his thrusts, and Jim’s hands slip altogether, bringing his torso flat against the bed.

Bones moans loudly at the new angle, and his thrusts grow faster, more frenzied. His strokes are clumsier, but Jim’s coming anyway, Bones’ name a garbled mess on his lips as he shudders violently and falls apart in Bones’ hand.

He feels every muscle in his body seize with the shock of it, hears Bones cursing as Jim clenches down tight on him. He swears he feels Bones’ cock swell inside him a split second before Bones comes, his teeth sinking into Jim’s shoulder. The sharp sting distracts him a little from the sensation of Bones’ come in his body, but he feels it plenty afterwards, the not altogether unpleasant feeling of being filled.

The bite on his shoulder throbs even more than his ass when Bones pulls out, but it’s an even better pain than Jim imagined. He rubs at it surreptitiously as he shifts onto his side to give Bones room to collapse, feeling the dents in his flesh from Bones’ teeth, the reddened areas where it’ll surely bruise the next day.

He hopes it lasts the whole damn week.

The fourth and last time Bones comes, it’s in Jim’s mouth, his lips stretched wide and his jaw sore from working Bones over until he’s hard again, and then bringing him over the brink of orgasm. Bones tugs at Jim’s hair the entire time, his voice cracking on Jim’s name, and Jim makes sure that Bones is watching before swallowing deliberately, swiping his tongue at the corners of his mouth to make sure he catches every last drop.

Afterwards, Jim flops exhaustedly beside Bones, listening to the man catch his breath. The air’s hot between them, smelling of sweat and sex, and he rubs his cheek across the damp sheets with no small amount of satisfaction, curling up close to Bones’ side.

“Mmm,” he sighs contentedly, throwing an arm over Bones’ chest and tangling their legs together. They lie there for the span of two seconds, just breathing, before Bones grunts and nudges impatiently at Jim’s shoulder.

“Move,” he says shortly, and Jim rolls away, perplexed. Bones swings his legs over the side of the bed, standing with a muffled groan and hobbling away to the bathroom. Jim hears the sound of running water, and a few moments later, Bones returns, swiping a washcloth across his belly. He tosses the cloth at Jim wordlessly, then jerks a thumb over his shoulder.

“Sleep in your own bed, kid. Mine’s filthy.”

“We could sleep in mine,” Jim says, feeling a small pang of hurt. He sits up and stands, the muscles in the small of his back twinging pleasantly.

“Nah. I’ll change them.” Bones is already pulling at the sheets, pulling them out from beneath the mattress and rolling them briskly into an efficient ball. “You go on.”

Jim stares at him for a moment, trying to place the odd tug of pain in his chest. Bones is right, he knows, there’s no reason for the two of them to sleep together beyond what’s necessary.

Just two friends doing each other a favor.

 _God, it hurts_.

“All right,” Jim says quietly, crossing the room to his own bed. Bones grunts in acknowledgment, but otherwise says nothing as he bundles up the dirty laundry and dumps it in the hamper. 

Somehow, despite the size of their narrow beds, the space beside him has never seemed bigger.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s a downward spiral, a vicious cycle, everything that Jim knows he should avoid, but God, he’s already caught so deep that it’s barely a choice anymore.

He falls asleep on that second night with difficulty, listening to the sound of Bones’ breathing and aching for the feel of warm skin against his own, Bones’ heartbeat beneath his ear, the scrape of stubble against his cheek. He wants, and he wants, and it’s not until he wakes at dawn to see Bones’ bed already empty that he realizes that he  _needs_.

Part of him wants to put a stop to this…this game, this ritual; the other part craves so strongly for a chance to get another taste that he’s willing to risk the fallout. He’s fucked in so many ways than one, and all he wants is  _more_. They say it’s the landing to be afraid of, not the fall; he sincerely begs to differ. The falling hurts just as bad, and it lasts a lifetime longer.

Bones catches him in surprise in the hallway the next day after a particularly grueling exam, snagging him by the elbow and propelling him away in the opposite direction of his next test.

“What are you—” Jim splutters, flustered and self-conscious, and he wrenches his arm away as soon as they’re out of sight, tucked around the back of the building behind a column. “What’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be—”

Bones steps right up to him, close enough for Jim to catch a whiff of his aftershave, the cool minty edge of his toothpaste, and his eyes are dark with intent. “Getting a head start,” he says gruffly, reaching down to squeeze Jim’s cock pointedly. “You got a problem with that?” 

The little fucker gets right with the program, even as Jim’s brain screams bloody murder. “Fuck,” Jim spits out, grabbing Bones’ wrist to pull him away, but somehow he gets stuck halfway and just ends up holding Bones’ hand in place. “Bones, we can’t—not here—”

“I want to suck you,” Bones whispers, his breath hot and heavy against Jim’s ear, and he presses their bodies together from shoulder to hip, grinding against Jim, and God, Bones is rock hard beneath his uniform. “Been thinkin’ ‘bout it all day, kid, c’mon—”

“Exam,” Jim chokes out, but his other hand’s already found its way to the nape of Bones’ neck, clutching at the short hairs on the back of his neck. “We’re gonna be late.”

“We won’t,” Bones reassures him. “Not if you’re fast.”

Jim has barely enough time to stutter out an indignant protest before Bones drops smoothly to his knees, his forehead resting against Jim’s belly as he concentrates on undoing Jim’s pants.

“Oh shit,” Jim says, dazed by the sight of Bones’ fingers working at his zipper, tugging the red material apart and down past his hips. “Oh shit, oh fuck.”

Bones glances up at him, reaching down with one hand to adjust himself in his own pants. “Quiet,” he says, but his eyes are dancing, and it breaks Jim’s heart open by another thousand degrees to see him so happy. “Someone’s gonna come by.”

Jim’s cock grows harder at the thought, and he chastises himself halfheartedly for thinking that if someone did catch them, they’d know Bones belonged to him.

Bones leans forward eagerly, presses his open mouth against Jim’s briefs and exhales, and Jim bites back a startled curse. He doubles over, bending over Bones’ head as he tries to steady his breathing. It’s little use, especially when Bones starts kissing lightly up and down his length, pressing his knuckles up behind his balls, rolling them through the fabric.

“Bones,” Jim whines, what feels like a lifetime later, and Bones chuckles around him, the vibrations jolting up his spine before Bones pulls his underwear out of the way and swallows him down in one go.

Jim makes a sound somewhere beneath a groan and a squeak, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep from making more noise as Bones hums contentedly around him, his tongue wreaking absolute havoc as he pushes deeper. Jim chokes back a whimper when he feels Bones’ nose nudging against the trail of hair leading down from his abdomen, the tip of his cock bumping agonizingly against the back of Bones’ throat.

He loses track of time, forgets how to breathe, his chest burning and his heart racing as Bones licks and sucks at him, making these breathy little noises that keep rising in pitch, and shit, Jim’s going to  _lose_ it—

Bones suddenly clamps his lips tight and sucks hard, and Jim bites his hand so hard that the pain momentarily pulls him back from the edge. His hips jerk forward involuntarily, and Bones takes it eagerly, digging his fingertips into Jim’s ass to tug him closer.

Jim groans and grasps desperately at Bones’ head, trying to regain some measure of control. Bones growls impatiently and closes his mouth slightly, scraping his teeth lightly up Jim’s cock as he bobs up, and Jim comes faster than when he was fifteen and discovering his prostate for the first time. He feels his cock pulse and surge in Bones’ mouth, the tight pressure of Bones’ lips almost too much, and fuck, he can feel Bones’ tongue catching his release, swallowing every drop.

Jim twitches in protest when he feels Bones lapping at the oversensitive head of his cock, drawing out a couple more weak spurts that knock all remaining breath from Jim’s lungs. He locks his knees, trying not to collapse flat on his ass when Bones finally pulls away, resting his forehead against Jim’s hip with a jerky exhale.

It takes Jim a few seconds to realize that Bones’ breaths are growing harsher, his shoulders twitching, and his heart skips consecutive beats when he realizes Bones is palming his cock roughly through his pants, too far gone to even pull himself out. 

“Jim,” Bones gasps, clutching at the back of Jim’s thigh to steady himself as he rocks forward into his own hand. “Oh, fuck, fuck, I’m gonna—” He cuts himself off with an abrupt whine, shuddering violently, and Jim moans faintly when he sees the spreading damp patch across Bones’ crotch.

“Oh God,” Bones pants, when he finally catches his breath, and he tilts his head up to grin dazedly up at Jim. “Haven’t done that since college.”

“What, come in your pants? You need to get out more,” Jim jibes reflexively, and Bones snorts, grabbing Jim’s wrist and pulling himself to his feet. He frowns down thoughtfully at himself and sighs.

“This is gonna be a long two hours,” he mutters, adjusting his bag strategically in front of his groin. “You think you’ll be hard again by then?”

Hell, Jim’s starting to get hard again just listening to Bones talk. He swallows and shrugs awkwardly. “Yeah.”

The corner of Bones’ mouth twitches, and he gives Jim a nonchalant slap on his ass, nothing more than a close friend would get away with after a few drinks on a Friday night. “See ya then,” he says, in a tone that goes far and beyond a platonic friend’s, and Jim’s at a loss for words.

Instead, he watches Bones walk away, his stride made awkward by the mess in his underwear, and wonders if there’s any real merit to this good luck thing at all. Because the last thing on his mind is advanced astrophysics, and the only thing he can think about is currently disappearing out of sight. 

………………..

Bones has balls of fucking steel, Jim reflects later. Walking into an exam like that looking and smelling like sex. He thinks about it the entire forty-five minutes after he finished his exam and sat around waiting for everyone else to wrap up, about if Bones thought far ahead enough to bring an extra change of clothes, if he didn’t and had to sit there with cold and sticky underwear and his hair mussed from where Jim’s fingers dug in. Not that Bones would’ve cared either way; for all of his talk of Jim being the more reckless of the two, he’s seen Bones do some crazy shit.

Like this whole orgasm finals festival, and the fact that he seems to prefer Jim’s body to his own right hand—Jim’s not sure which one surprises him more. 

Bones isn’t back yet when he arrives at their dorm room, and Jim dithers uncertainly for a couple of minutes before sitting down on the end of his bed. A few seconds later, he gets up and moves over to Bones’ bed, then wonders if he should take the initiative and start this on his own bed, after all.

In the end, he settles for taking all his clothes off, tossing them unceremoniously in the laundry pile, and lingering idiotically between the two beds with his cock hanging half-hard between his legs. To his combined relief and mortification, the door opens before he can decide what to do with himself, and he turns just as Bones walks in with a paper bag.

“Grabbed us some—” Bones’ eyes lock onto his, and the paper bag instantly goes forgotten in his hand. “ _Mother of God_.”

"Call me Jim,” Jim says feebly, stooping to weak humor as a last resort, and he swallows nervously when Bones’ eyes rake hotly down his body. 

“What if I was someone else?” Bones asks, setting the bag deliberately on the dining table and moving towards him slowly. “The hell would you have done?”

“Dunno,” Jim says, his mind going blanker with each step Bones takes. “Offered him a blowjob, probably.”

Something sparks in Bones’ eyes, and his next couple of steps bring him right in front of Jim. He’s changed his pants, Jim notices distantly, his hair newly combed, and all Jim wants to do is to mess him up all over again. 

So he reaches out and grabs Bones’ collar, and then they’re kissing and yes, this is good. Much better than talking, because the last thing he wants to talk about is how hard he’s falling for his best friend and how much it isn’t going to happen between them. Not the way that he wants. 

It’s stupid, inane, and he tries to convince himself that it’s just the pheromones, the novelty of it, the thrill. But it  _isn’t_  just that, and he suspects that he’s been seeing this coming for a long time now.

Bones pushes his tongue into Jim’s mouth like he’s got something to prove, moaning approvingly when Jim winds an arm tight around his waist, hauling him close. He feels his cock drag across the front of Bones’ tunic, the friction just on the right side of rough to get him going again. 

“Bed,” Bones manages to say between snatches of air, and Jim staggers over blindly to the nearest bed. It’s his, he realizes with a burst of inexplicable satisfaction, and he arches up eagerly when Bones presses down on top of him. 

“Want you to fuck me,” Bones mutters, his eyes wild and his lips slick as he slides his mouth down the side of Jim’s neck, dragging his hand down Jim’s torso, tugging at the hair on his chest. “Make you fuck me hard, make you forget your own name.  _God_ , Jim.”

"Holy shit,” Jim gasps, fumbling at Bones’ clothes, because he’s way too overdressed for this to work. “You promise?" 

Bones chuckles breathlessly, and he sits back on his heels to strip his top off, squirming around until he can kick off his pants. It’s surprisingly graceless, and Jim would’ve laughed if he isn’t so goddamn turned on at the sight of all that bare skin, every freckle and hair and—

Bones falls back on top of him with a grunt, claiming Jim’s mouth again. The kiss turns demanding within seconds, Bones licking roughly at the corner of Jim’s mouth and biting at his bottom lip.

"Jerked off again before I went to get food,” he whispers, his drawl thickening in his arousal. “The way you looked when you came in my mouth, Jim, God, you’d drive a priest to sin.” Bones thrusts against his hip as he speaks, digging his erection into the crease between Jim’s pelvis and thigh. The guy’s got the refraction time of a teenager, Jim realizes with awe. It couldn’t have been more than half an hour since their last exam ended, and Bones is already stunningly hard again.

“You’ve been taking the little blue pills, haven’t you?” Jim accuses, and Bones rolls his eyes.

“It’s a natural talent,” he answers, then leans up and reaches under Jim’s pillow.

“You hid lube under my pillow?” Jim demands, when he sees what Bones pulls out. “ _My_ pillow?”

"Kid, I’ve got lube stashed everywhere,” Bones tells him, not without a significant amount of smugness. “Boy Scout.”

“You were never.”

“Wanna bet?” Bones reaches for Jim’s hand, bringing it up to his own hip and then farther back. “Always prepared, see?”

Jim’s eyes widen comically when he feels the warm slickness between Bones’ cheeks, the way the soft skin gives way beneath his fingertips. “Oh my God, Bones.”  

Bones grins down smugly at him, popping the lid to the lube and squeezing the clear gel onto his fingers. He grips Jim’s hips with his knees, rolling them over so that Jim’s on top, and reaches down to grasp his cock. 

Jim groans, presses his forehead against Bones’ shoulder as Bones slicks him up, lingering a little longer than necessary. “Jesus, Bones, slow down—”

Bones makes a dismissive sound, lining Jim’s cock up and slapping his ass impatiently. “C’mon.”

“All  _right_ , goddamn.” Jim braces himself, takes a few steadying breaths before gripping his cock and slowly easing into Bones’ body. Bones is tighter than he expects, and the quiet hiss of air between his teeth tells Jim that he isn’t as prepared as he made himself out to be.

"You sure ‘bout this?” Jim pants, already breathless and he’s halfway in. Bones is so unbelievably tight, clenching desperately around him and trying to pull Jim in deeper when Jim’s trying so hard to keep from doing just that. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I’ll hurt  _you_  if you don’t stop fucking around,” Bones threatens, but the heat behind his words carries no anger. His face is flushed, damp with sweat, his eyes bright and intent as he reaches out, fingering at the base of Jim’s cock. “Do it, Jim.”

Jim feels Bones’ muscles release, relaxing for a split second, and his restraint dissipates. He slams his hips forward, feels Bones take him all the way to the hilt, and it’s all he can do to keep from coming the second that he’s buried in that tight heat. 

"Oh  _God_ , Bones,” he gasps, pressing Bones’ knees up to his chest and keening at the new angle. “You’re incredible.”

"You’re bigger than I remember,” Bones counters incredulously. “You damn overachiever.”

Jim grins and makes a mental note to invest in a cock ring,  _something_ , before there’s no way he can keep this up for the rest of the week. Fucking Bones is an outright athletic event, the way he thrashes and writhes and digs his heels into the small of Jim’s back to urge him to go faster.

“Harder,” Bones orders, his eyes glazed over. He gropes down between them as Jim obliges, grabbing his cock and jerking it furiously in time with Jim’s thrusts. “Harder, Jim, that’s it. That’s it, fuck, I’m gonna come—”

Jim’s getting dangerously close himself, but he mentally slaps himself and slows down, reveling in the rising pitch of Bones’ frustrated moan.

“What the hell, Jim?”

“Wanna see you come,” Jim breathes, reaching down to close his fingers around Bones’ and stroke him together. “Show me.”

“Goddamn,” Bones huffs, but he guides their intertwined hands, gripping himself tighter and rocking his hips down on Jim’s cock before fucking up into his own fist. His breaths come out in short punches, tiny vocalized grunts that fade into air, and it’s the sexiest thing Jim thinks he’s ever heard.

Bones tosses his head back when he comes, arching up against Jim with a strangled groan, and Jim’s tugged along in the undertow of his pleasure when he feels Bones squeeze and clench around him, his inner walls fluttering erratically and forcing the orgasm out of him.

When Jim comes to his senses again, they’re both out of breath, Bones still wringing his cock dry with shaking fingers and one hand digging into Jim’s hip.

“Fuck,” Jim says eloquently, rolling heavily onto his back beside Bones. The bed’s narrow enough that they’re still pressed against each other, one of Bones’ arms caught beneath Jim’s back. “ _God_.”

It’s a glorious thirty seconds afterwards, just them and the silence and the comfortable intimacy that follows a good round of fucking. Jim has half a mind to try and hold Bones’ hand, but just the thought of the scathing look he’d undoubtedly receive is enough to quickly put him off the idea. 

Finally, Bones grunts, breaking the silence effortlessly, and he rolls over onto his side, scooting down the bed so that Jim’s half hard cock is at eye level.

"No way,” Jim says instantly. “Gimme time, man, I’m trying—”

“You’re young,” Bones says confidently. “You can handle it.”

“Aww, Bones.” Jim shifts nervously, not at all sure he can handle whatever Bones is going to dish out next. “Seriously.”

“Seriously, you’ll like it,” Bones assures him. He nudges Jim’s legs apart, shifts over to lie between them, and he leans forward to nuzzle at Jim’s inner thigh. “Trust me, I’m a doctor." 

"But, I already—twice—” Jim stammers out, not sure why he’s even trying to protest, and Bones glances up at him shrewdly before reaching up and circling his fingers around Jim’s cock.

“Who says you can’t stand to earn a little extra credit?” Bones tightens his grip and licks at him, smirking when his erection begins to slowly grow to full hardness. “Looks like you’ve still got some in you.”

Jim forgets whatever retort he might have been harboring when Bones lowers his head and starts sucking him with pure intent. He doesn’t tease, doesn’t fuck around, just gets Jim so worked up that his head is spinning and it’s all he can do to not let fly and start fucking Bones’ face right then and there.

Bones shuffles closer, grips his balls in one hand and rolls them, adding to Jim’s mounting pleasure until he feels like he’s bursting at the seams. He hums approvingly when Jim’s hips jerk upwards, and the new vibrations are just too much for Jim to handle.

“I’m gonna,” Jim warns, raising his head with difficulty to catch Bones’ gaze.

And then, just as he’s teetering on the knife-sharp edge, balanced so tightly that it’d take less than a thought to tip him over, Bones pulls off with a wet pop and gives the base of his erection a merciless squeeze. Jim groans in shock and frustration at the sudden pinch of discomfort, falling back from the crest of pleasure. “Bones, what the  _hell?_ ”

“Didn’t say you could come yet,” Bones tells him reproachfully, his face still close enough that his lower lip brushes against the head of Jim’s cock with every word. “Did I?”

“Are you fucking serio—Bones, c’mon, man, let me—ah,  _fuck_!” Jim arches helplessly when Bones licks up the length of his cock, teasing at the spot just beneath the head that always drives him crazy. 

The pleasure comes in short, blinding bursts, shoving him up the cliff without ever carrying him over. Bones nips and sucks at him, closing his lips around the head of his cock and teasing the slit with his tongue until Jim’s sure he’s going to come this time. He can feel his balls tightening, his muscles clenching…and then Bones backs off again.

"Fuuuuck,” Jim draws out, falling back on the bed with an annoyed whine. “Bones, don’t be a dick." 

Bones laughs softly, and even the feeling of air stirring against his cock is agonizing at this point. “You’re doing good, Jim,” he praises, reaching out to smooth a hand over Jim’s hip. “Doing so good, darlin’, wish you could see yourself.”

Jim stifles a reflexive moan at the term of endearment, knowing it’s probably an unconscious gesture on Bones’ part, something he doesn’t even have to think twice about, but fuck, when he says it like that…in that voice…

Jim can almost pretend it’s real.

Bones starts blowing him again, and Jim can’t help but reach out and touch, to guide Bones’ head with his hands, but Bones grunts and presses his wrists down to the mattress, leaving his cock jutting free into the air with only his mouth for support.  _Look, Ma, no hands,_ Jim thinks hysterically, and he cries out when Bones brings him to the edge again and abandons him. “Bones, Bones, don’t,” he pleads, his eyes watering and his throat tightening, and all he wants is to  _come_ already.

"Please, man, let me—let me—" Jim gasps, then jerks helplessly when a fingertip probes at his entrance, stroking lightly over his hole without entering. "Bones—”

“Shh, shh.” Bones rubs his cheek along the side of Jim’s cock, the light stubble scraping against the sensitive flesh, and he shudders at the sight of the sticky trail of precome he leaves on Bones’ skin. The finger pushes in easily, Jim’s body too wrecked to offer further resistance, and he nearly comes on the spot when Bones presses a second finger in and crooks upwards.

Jim’s mouth falls open in a wordless, frustrated moan, and he wishes that he’s one of those guys that can come without being touched, but he  _needs_ it, needs Bones’ hand back on him so that he doesn’t burn himself up from the inside. “Please,” he stutters, and he’s dying, he’s falling, he needs to come so fucking badly. “B-Bones, I can’t.”

“Fuck, Jim,” Bones breathes, looking as unbalanced as Jim feels. “One of these days, I’m gonna do this to you all fucking night, make you  _scream_.”

And with that, Bones wraps a firm hand around his cock, giving him a rough, no-nonsense stroke that he needs like fucking yesterday. It only takes three before he feels himself flying apart; there’s that fleeting edge of resistance that always comes instinctively, and then he’s gone, his cock throbbing and twitching in Bones’ hand as he digs his heels into the mattress and fucks into the circle of Bones’ fingers involuntarily.

"Ahh, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he hears himself panting, shaking so hard that his voice breaks. He’s still coming, heavy tremors racking his body and squeezing him dry; his abdomen is streaked in his own come, one spurt nearly reaching his collarbones, and Bones wrings him steadily through it, eyes fixed on the slick mess covering his own fingers as he squeezes at Jim’s softening cock. 

“Jesus Christ,” he thinks he hears Bones mutter, before the other man bends down and presses his mouth to the base of Jim’s cock, cleaning it off with gentle swipes of his tongue. It’s good, so fucking good that it hurts, and Jim’s knees fall open gracelessly as Bones leans forward to get at his stomach.

Bones glances up at him as he drags his tongue through the pooling puddle of Jim’s come, the flash of hazel piercing him instantly, and Jim moans faintly, tugging at Bones’ shoulder until he slides up Jim’s body. 

He can taste himself on Bones’ tongue, bitter and salty, but the taste fades over time, their kisses growing sloppier and more languid as Jim feels himself giving in to exhaustion. He forces his eyes to open again when he feels Bones’ cock bumping against his thigh. “Really, man?”

“You underestimate how fucking hot you are,” Bones tells him wryly. “Besides, I’ve got one more t’go.” He exhales slowly, his breath hitching as he rubs his erection along Jim’s hip. “Let me fuck you.” His voice rises in a questioning tone, all breathy at the end, and even if Jim wants to protest, he can’t resist Bones sounding like that.

“Go ahead,” he says hoarsely, spreading his legs, but Bones shakes his head.

“On your front.”

“Bones,” Jim complains, and Bones’ eyebrows rise in amusement.

“Next time, kid, all right?” He pats Jim’s hip, urging him to roll over. 

“You said that last time,” Jim points out halfheartedly, but he moves to lie on his belly anyway, folding his arms beneath his head and resting his cheek on his forearms. Bones shuffles around a bit behind him, and then his hands are on Jim’s ass, kneading the muscle firmly and spreading him open.

The first swipe of Bones’ tongue startles him, and he presses his hips involuntarily into the mattress, trying to get away. Bones holds him still, pins Jim’s thighs to the bed with his elbows and licks over Jim’s entrance again. He’s already loose from the fingering, and Bones’ tongue presses in easily.

“Fuck,” Jim murmurs, lazy sparks of pleasure drifting aimlessly through him. He’s too wiped out to get hard again; he’ll _never_ know how the hell Bones does it, but it still feels so fucking good, Bones being this close to him.

Bones opens him up steadily with his tongue and fingers, going for efficiency rather than indulgence, and Jim finds himself dipping in and out of a pleasant lull.

When Bones finally slides in, Jim shudders and exhales roughly, but his body is too slack to move and he remains loose and pliant beneath Bones’ hands. Bones presses down on top of him, looping an arm around Jim’s neck to grasp his shoulder and pressing his mouth to the side of his face. 

“So good,” Bones whispers, approval and affection thick in his voice as he rocks his hips, fucking into Jim slowly. Jim strains to hear if there’s the implication of something more behind the words, but it’s a struggle just to stay conscious, and Bones feels so right inside him, so full and heavy and good that he doesn’t want to think of anything else. “Y’feel so good, darlin’. God, Jim, you’re something else.” He keeps up a litany of murmured praises, until Jim’s high and buzzing and feeling like he’s inhaled an entire oxygen tank in the span of five minutes.

It’s not long before Bones grunts and tightens his grip on Jim, his breath bursting out against Jim’s back as Bones shoves forward one last time and comes with a jolting moan.

Jim bears down instinctively, feeling Bones fill him up, and he can’t help but whine in protest when Bones eases out of him. 

“We’re a mess,” he thinks he hears Bones say, so far away. Jim rolls over with the last of his strength, blinks his eyes open in time to see Bones sit up.

“No,” Jim slurs, already half-asleep. He reaches out and wraps his hand loosely around Bones’ wrist. “C’mon, Bones…stay.”

“I don’t cuddle, kid,” Bones says, shaking off Jim’s grasp gently. “I’ll get a towel.”

Jim wonders how Bones is still able to move, if only to keep himself from being stung at the abrupt dismissal. He can feel Bones’ come leaking slowly out of him, tickling the back of his thighs, and he clenches in vain, trying to keep it inside for a second longer. Already, he’s growing colder without Bones’ skin against his, a heartbeat pounding against his back, steady hands holding him down.

Bones returns with a damp cloth, cleaning Jim off efficiently before tending to himself. It’s a simple gesture that has the dual effect of punching Jim in the gut and socking him in the face, because God, he thinks he’s falling in love with his best friend and there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell of Bones ever wanting him back.

“Go to sleep,” Bones tells him, and Jim’s lost. He curls in on himself, alone in his bed, his back pressed against the wall to feel some grounding point of contact, and watches Bones climb into his own bed. The sheets are uncomfortably damp beneath him, and all he wants is to be able to cross the room and slide in next to Bones.

Five steps is all it would take, and yet they seem lightyears apart.

 ”G’night, kid,” Bones says quietly, his voice muffled, and Jim blinks helplessly.

“Goodnight, Bones.”


	4. Chapter 4

It’s not like Leonard’s never thought about fucking Jim before. How can he not, when the kid’s always sauntering around in nothing but his underwear or bringing his latest conquests back to their room or even, on one memorable occasion, jerking off in his bed when he thought Leonard was asleep?

But it’s only ever been a passing thought, a fleeting blur of a memory when he has his hand on his cock in the safety of the shower, until he blabbed about his finals ritual and ended up being fucked through his mattress. Not that he’s complaining.

He chews on the end of his stylus thoughtfully, eyeing the remaining questions on the multiple choice portion. This is the lightest of all of his exam days, though he still has the practical ops to get through in the next day or so and they’re by far the most difficult of his finals. He jiggles his leg distractedly under the desk, trying not to think of what’s waiting for him as soon as he finishes, if Jim’s waiting for him again in their room all naked and eager…

 _Fuck_. Leonard reaches down surreptitiously to adjust his cock and crosses his legs. It’s gonna be a long hour.

As soon as the test is over, he squeezes himself into the end stall of a seldom occupied restroom and shoves a hand down the front of his pants. It doesn’t take more than a few strokes to bring himself off, his knees spread as wide as he can with his pants around his thighs and his head thumping back against the back of the stall as he bites down hard on his lip to muffle his groan and spurts into his hand. 

He’s made a complete mess of himself, though he’s managed to avoid staining his uniform, and he mops himself up with a handful of toilet paper, grimacing at the uncomfortable stickiness on his skin when he zips up again. It’s just enough to take the edge off the churning heat in his blood that’s been there since day one, and he hopes he can last through until Jim’s exams are finished.

Damn, if he hasn’t gotten addicted to the kid’s body— the way he kisses, the way he fucks, the way he sounds when he’s being fucked; it’s all better than Leonard’s ever imagined, and he’s getting dizzy again just thinking about it. Really, if he knew Jim was really this good, he should’ve propositioned him sooner. God knows he wouldn’t have been the first to do so.

He leaves the stall feeling sated, yet still oddly restless. It’ll feel like this until he feels Jim’s skin on his again, he knows, that infernal buzz perpetually humming away in his ears. Damn if he doesn’t know how Jim does it, how he works his way into body and soul until there’s nothing left but  _him_.

Leonard washes his hands in the sink, the motions brisk and automatic from years of learned cleanliness, and he goes on his way. 

Jim doesn’t get back for a couple of hours, and by that time, Leonard’s managed to get himself into a right state, fifty different positions jostling for prominence in his imagination as he tries to map out the plan for today. 

The top three involve him getting fucked, because Jim’s cock is a Federation treasure in itself. 

His head jerks up when the door opens, and he turns around, wiping his suddenly sweaty palms on his pants. “You’re back,” he says, trying for nonchalance. Jim edges in the room, looking an odd mix between exhausted and wired up; apparently, Leonard’s not the only one who’s been thinking about this. “How was your day?”

Jim gives him a look, a look that tells him he knows Leonard couldn’t give a rat’s ass about his day, and he drops his bag on the kitchen table, reaching for his belt without further ado.

“Hey,” Leonard says, his voice uncomfortably loud over the sound of Jim’s belt slithering free from its loops. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jim says shortly. He doesn’t look away from Leonard as he unhooks the stiff collar of his tunic, snapping the fastenings open as he works his way down briskly. “Just getting down to business.”

“Well, just… just hold off, will you?” Leonard closes the distance between them and catches Jim’s hand just as he reaches the final clasp. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” Jim repeats, slower this time. There’s definitely something eating him, Leonard decides. Usually, it’s not so…so easy with Jim. It’s what Leonard likes about him. Then Jim’s voice drops half an octave, and every thought leaves Leonard’s mind except,  _fuck me now_. “Been thinking about this for hours, is all.”

“Jesus,” Leonard mutters, already dazed. “Just let me…let me,” he stutters, fumbling with Jim’s tunic and peeling it back from his shoulders. The shirt beneath is thin, clinging to the curves of Jim’s muscles, and Leonard runs his hands appreciatively down his sides, feeling the heat of Jim’s body through the flimsy fabric.

Jim has no such intentions in mind, it seems, judging by the way he impatiently grabs the edge of Leonard’s shirt and drags it over his head.

“Where’s the fire?” Leonard chuckles, when his head emerges again, and Jim rolls his eyes.

“You blew me behind a  _building_ yesterday, Bones.”

“Yeah, well.” Leonard finally pulls Jim’s shirt off and runs his eyes over Jim’s bare chest. “Can you really blame me?”

Jim gives him an “exactly, asshole” look, and propels him back towards the bed. Leonard’s bed, he realizes, and he doesn’t know why he bothers noticing. After all, it shouldn’t even matter where they fuck, as long as—

Leonard grunts when his back hits the mattress, then again when Jim’s weight descends down on him, hot skin pressing against his. He has time to take a single breath before Jim’s finally kissing him, if it can be called that at all. It’s teeth and harsh breaths, Jim licking into his mouth like he’s trying to force himself under Leonard’s skin, to crawl so deeply inside that Leonard can never get him out, and it turns him on so fast that he feels his cock pushing up between their bodies, Jim’s hips grinding down against his.

“Jim,” Leonard gasps, when he gets a second of respite, and Jim only growls before gripping his hair and tugging his head to the side, mouthing hungrily at his jaw before dragging down his neck. Leonard groans when Jim’s teeth sink unexpectedly into his flesh, the pain radiating down his spine and melting into something decidedly…not. 

“Shit,” Leonard grits out, the bite mark throbbing as Jim sucks and licks at the imprint of his teeth. “That’s gonna bruise.”

“Good,” he thinks he hears Jim say, before his legs are shoved apart, Jim working his shoulder beneath one of his thighs as he pulls Leonard’s hips up off the bed.

Leonard’s pants are being jerked off before he can catch up, and he flinches at the cold air. Then Jim is surging back between his legs, laying a trail of scratchy kisses across his chest, rubbing his cheek against the hair there before mouthing his way down Leonard’s stomach. 

“Bones,” Jim says, nipping at Leonard’s hip. “Bones, Bones—”

“Oh God,” Leonard groans, when Jim nuzzles at his cock through his underwear. He bucks up, then huffs in frustration when Jim locks his arms around Leonard’s thighs and holds him still, burying his face in Leonard’s crotch. “Jim, I need. I need you—”

“Huh?” Jim mumbles, pressing his open mouth over the head of Leonard’s cock and licking at him. 

Leonard twitches hard, a long shudder rippling down his body, and he grabs at Jim’s head, tugging at the short hair. “I need you to stop fucking around,” he growls, “and fuck  _me_.”

Jim’s eyes jerk up to his, a flash of startled blue, and then he’s grinning, downright smirking. “You’re a bit of a slut, aren’t you?” he asks conversationally, dragging his mouth down the length of Leonard’s cock again. “Wouldn’t have guessed, Bones.”

Leonard thrusts up futilely, his underwear soaked in saliva and precome, and he’s so hard, so fucking hard that he feels like he could come right then and there if Jim touched him with his bare skin. “Fuck you,” he groans, hating himself for the way his voice cracks.

“Maybe later,” he thinks Jim says, before the pressure on his legs disappears and Jim’s stripping off his briefs, tossing them onto the floor before kicking off his own jeans. He’s commando under them, of  _course_  he is, but Leonard can’t really complain when Jim drops down on top of him again, hot skin sliding against his own as he yanks Leonard’s head back and kisses him fiercely, fucking his tongue into Leonard’s mouth like a promise of later things.

“Drawer,” Leonard manages to gasp out, and Jim bites Leonard’s lip before pulling away, squirming to the side to rummage in the nightstand.

“You should just keep it out all the time,” Jim complains, grunting when he snags the drawer with his fingertips and yanks it out. “Under your pillow or something.”

“You try sleeping with that under a pillow,” Leonard snaps, not wanting to admit that he’s already tried and woken up many a morning with a crick in his neck from the stiff tube lodged beneath his head. 

Jim sits back on his heels, and Leonard watches him crack open the lube, squeezing some onto his hand. God, the kid’s gorgeous, he thinks with an odd wrench in his chest. Jim’s hair is tousled and mussed on one side, eyes bright and color high in his cheeks, his lips scraped and swollen from Leonard’s stubble. Leonard reaches out unthinkingly, stroking over Jim’s abdomen, feeling the muscles twitch beneath his hand as Jim glances down at him questioningly.

The lube makes a farting noise and Leonard splutters in laughter as Jim scowls and tosses it away.

“Hey, might need that later,” Leonard says, watching the tube fly through the air, and Jim ignores him, pushing Leonard’s legs farther apart and reaching down to grip his balls.

Leonard hisses at the sharp tug, pain and pleasure spiraling confusedly into one, and he gasps when Jim’s slick fingers rub over his entrance, testing the give of muscle. He tries to push back, wrapping his legs around Jim’s waist and tugging him forward, but Jim flattens a hand against his chest and pins him down, glancing up in reprimand.

“Fucker,” Leonard manages, then shocks himself with a high moan when Jim shoves a finger in without warning, burying it to the knuckle. “ _Jesus,_ Jim.”

“Don’t come yet,” Jim orders. He doesn’t make it easy, the bastard, twisting his finger and grazing against Leonard’s prostate on the second try.

Leonard breathes in and out rapidly, trying to relax, groaning in muted frustration when Jim adds another finger, alternating between thrusting and spreading him open. “Jim,” Leonard gasps, drawing out his name in a desperate quiver. “Please." 

"Please?” A harder press of his fingertips, stroking over that one spot that sends stars bursting behind his eyelids and his toes curling against the sheets.

“Please stop boring me,” Leonard snaps. “I'm  _ready_.”

“Rude.” The fingers withdraw, and Leonard nearly lets his legs drop in outrage, but Jim seizes his knees and spreads them again, pushing in between his legs and  _oh_.

“Am I boring you now?” Jim asks, his hands slamming down on either side of Leonard’s head, and Leonard forgets how to breathe.

He nearly comes on the spot when Jim begins pushing in, the new sensation threatening to shove him over the edge, but he clings on stubbornly and curses frantically as Jim slides in, fingers slipping on the backs of his own thighs as he holds his legs to his chest. 

“Shit, Bones,” Jim says, his chest heaving in deep, gulping breaths, and Leonard feels a giddy laugh bubbling up from inside him.

“I hope not,” he chokes out, and Jim’s startled laugh jolts through his whole body. His cock presses up against Jim’s stomach, and it’s too much, oh God— “I can’t, fuck, Jim.”

“Not yet,” Jim commands, pushing deeper, and Leonard jerks his head to the side, gasping.

“God, please, I  _need_ ,” he manages, and then he’s coming with a helpless groan, his skin stinging from the bite of his own fingernails as he shudders through his orgasm, feeling hot streaks of come striping his stomach, smearing against Jim’s chest as he keeps thrusting.

“Jesus, fuck,” Jim’s swearing, by the time Leonard’s ears stop ringing. “ _Bones_.”

“Oops,” he gasps, and he suddenly can’t stop laughing. The tremors shake his torso, his entire body, and he’s acutely aware of every inch of Jim still inside him, hot and throbbing and stretching him open. “Keep going,” he demands, dropping his legs and clamping them around Jim’s hips. “Fuck me.”

Jim gives a long, pained groan, and he thrusts hard into Leonard, sending sparks flying up his spine. It almost hurts, he’s so sensitive, but the barrier between pain and pleasure is already so fucked up that all he can do is moan and cling onto whatever’s left of his sanity.

“Faster,” he pants, clutching at Jim’s shoulders. “Harder, Jim.”

Jim leans down and kisses him like he’s a dying man, like he can’t get enough of Leonard’s mouth, and it seems dangerously close to something intimate, the way he moans and whimpers with every touch of Leonard’s tongue. 

Funny, Leonard thinks, that something like this can seem more personal than fucking.

“God, I’m gonna come,” Jim suddenly says, his voice strained. “Bones, I have to—”

“Yeah, that’s it. Come on, come  _on,_ ” Leonard urges. He can barely see, his skin prickling with sensitivity every time Jim drives in him, but he just wants more, wants to see Jim fly apart around him, inside him, feel him so deep that Leonard will still feel him even after this is over—

Something stutters in his chest, and he falters even as Jim clutches him tight and cries out brokenly, coming inside him with one last snap of his hips. Leonard gives a satisfied hiss when he feels Jim filling him, keeping him hot and stretched further than he’s ever imagined. Jim exhales hard, begins to pull out, and Leonard shakes his head hard, fumbling for Jim’s wrist. “Don’t.”

“What?” Jim blinks up at him uncomprehendingly, and Leonard just shakes his head again.

“Don’t move,” he breathes. “Just…Just stay, ‘kay?” He pulls Jim back down over him, wraps an arm around his shoulders and sighs. “Stay." 

Jim freezes for a long moment, then relaxes into him, his hips pressing in deeper as he shoves his face against Leonard’s neck. 

Leonard can still feel Jim buried deep in him, his cock twitching whenever Leonard involuntarily clamps down, and he moans in surprise when he realizes Jim’s still half hard. 

"Don’t worry about it,” Jim murmurs, lips stirring against his collarbone. “It’ll go down in a bit.” He moves again, just a little, and Leonard whimpers when Jim grazes his prostate again, a wave of sharp pleasure splintering through him. “Oh, shit, sorry—”

“Again,” Leonard croaks, his hands scrambling for purchase on Jim’s sweaty back. “ _Again._ Feels good.”

Jim swears, long and low in Leonard’s ear, and he pulls back, gripping Leonard’s face between his hands and staring down at him with an odd intensity. His tongue flicks out, tracing over his parted lips slowly, and he almost looks pissed when he pinches Leonard’s cheek hard and releases him. “Damn you, Bones,” he says at last, and he rolls his hips slowly, pulling out of Leonard at an excruciating pace before pushing back in again, even slower.

Leonard shudders when he feels Jim’s cock drag against his prostate, moans at the long slide and pull of flesh against flesh. He’s still coming down from his last orgasm, his senses confusedly winding tight again. He feels like he’s running an uphill race, with a really,  _really_  good prize at the top, one that’ll make this all worth it if he can just fucking get there.

“More,” he says, and Jim mumbles something in exasperation. 

Leonard slips his hands down Jim’s back, grabbing at his ass to pull him in deeper, groaning faintly at the flex of tight muscle beneath his palms. He digs his fingers in deeper, then dares to slip down to rub along Jim’s cleft, pressing experimentally against Jim’s entrance.

Jim jerks in surprise, but his rhythm doesn’t falter, and his eyes burn into Leonard’s with that strange fierceness again. “Bones,” is all he says, the word a barely audible exhalation against his sweaty skin, and Leonard pushes his fingertip in.

Jim spasms, his back arching as he fucks back against Leonard’s hand and then forward again, slamming into Leonard so hard that his vision flickers and sharp pleasure numbs him. 

“Oh,” Leonard stutters, fascinated as Jim’s face twists in startled pleasure, as if uncertain which way feels better. He seems to settle for somewhere in the middle, circling his hips in an unsteady, grinding motion, and Leonard suddenly can’t press close enough. He claws at Jim’s back, leaving marks, drawing hisses, and he wants to crawl right into Jim’s goddamn beautiful body, to breathe and drink him in and taste him—

 _Fuck_. 

It’s all he can to not shove Jim away as ice cold revelation crashes over him, and he’s not sure he could anyway; his limbs are heavy, his mind a splintered mess, and his orgasm splutters weakly as Jim thrusts home one last time and comes, filling him so completely that Leonard can feel his come dripping out, his muscles clenching uselessly in an effort to contain it.

_Fuckfuckfuck._

“Bones?” Jim grates, raising a hand to touch Leonard’s cheek. So careful, so gentle, his eyes narrowing in concern, and Leonard swallows hard. 

“Nothing,” he says gruffly, and despite every thought in his mind screaming him to do otherwise, he wraps his arms around Jim and holds him tight, squeezing him so hard he’s sure that it’s uncomfortable. But strangely enough, Jim doesn’t complain, only dropping an aimless kiss onto Leonard’s forehead that does nothing to calm him whatsoever.

To his horror and astonishment, his cock twitches in response. Just a brush of Jim’s lips, and he’s fucking gone like he’s in heat. “Oh God,” he huffs pathetically, and Jim glances down between them in dawning surprise.

“Jesus, Bones. Really?”

“Just…just lemme take care of it.” Leonard fumbles at Jim’s chest, shoving him off and to the side, and he rolls heavily on top of Jim, burying his face against Jim’s shoulder so he doesn’t have to see his expression as Leonard grinds against him, so desperate that he feels himself reddening in mortification.

It’s getting too damn personal for his liking,  _definitely_ too personal for someone like Jim, and if he ever finds out Leonard’s been thinking like this…

He pushes his cock harder against Jim’s hip, sweat and come as his lube, and it’s so filthy, so wrong, so  _good,_  Jim’s hands running over him soothingly, tugging lightly at his hair before resting on his waist, guiding his helpless rutting.“Jim,” he moans as he comes, his climax feeble and more like a punch to the gut than anything else, and Jim kisses his ear.

They lie tangled together for a few long moments, Leonard struggling to draw breath into his exhausted lungs and Jim unexpectedly quiet beneath him.

Then Jim gives his side an inevitable pat. “Heavy.”

“Sorry,” Leonard slurs, and he flops onto his back before pushing himself unsteadily to his feet. A thick drop of come oozes down the back of his thigh, and he clenches unthinkingly, resisting the urge to shove his fingers back into himself just to fill that sudden emptiness. “Be back in a sec.”

The bathroom seems too small, too mundane after what he’s just gone through, and he stares into the mirror critically. He looks well-fucked, hair sticking up crazily, red bruises glowing on his skin, his eyes still dazed from the last orgasm.

A second later, he pulls open the second drawer on his side of the sink, rummaging about until he finds the discreet box tucked in the back, the one he only uses on rare occasions.

He stares down at the toy, wondering if he should leave it in there, just slam the drawer shut and get in the shower and wash off every trace of Jim on him, in him. Watch it swirl away down the drain and look forward to the next three days of no strings sex.

It’s better that way, after all. Better for Jim to not get attached, better for Leonard to have never been tempted at all than to just be another name scratched at the bottom of Jim Kirk’s list of conquests.

He thinks it may be a bit late for that.

He reaches for the plug and bends over, the angle slightly awkward as he rests a knee on the toilet seat and inches the rounded plug inside, grimacing as it settles fully within him. A subtle thrum of excitement threads through him when he straightens, knowing that Jim’s come is inside him, marking him, tying him down in ways he’s too tired to explore in his current state.

It’s likely he’ll regret this in the morning, he thinks. That he’ll wake up sore and irritated and wondering why the hell he had such a crisis the night before. Wondering what he was  _thinking_  doing something…something like…

He watches his reflection flush red and resists the urge to slam his head against the mirror.

To hell with it all, he thinks grimly, and he exits the bathroom, his steps slightly awkward as he adjusts to the rigid stretch of the toy inside him. Jim’s in his own bed already, a curled up form beneath the sheets with his back to Leonard, Leonard’s own bed stripped of its sheets and replaced with a new set, as if nothing’s happened. As if Leonard’s not standing there in the doorway of the bathroom with a plug up his ass just to keep Jim in him a little longer.

“Hey,” Leonard says softly, just to see, unsure what he’s hoping for, but Jim doesn’t move. After a long moment, sweat still running down his back, his skin flushed and tingling from Jim’s touch, Leonard powers down the lights and slides into his bed, the sheets tight and sterile beneath him. Across the room, Jim quietly breathes, and Leonard hates himself for being somehow  _hurt_  by this, when it’s nothing less than what he expected in the first place.

 _You fucking idiot_ , he tells himself, and he closes his eyes. 


	5. Chapter 5

Jim’s gone by the time Leonard wakes, and he doesn’t know if he’s disappointed or relieved to see the empty bed across the room. He lies there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, shifting absently and stopping when he feels the plug still inside him.

Oh, he thinks, then sits upright once he remembers the rest of last night, wincing when the plug grinds deeper. “Fuck,” he says aloud, and he’s suddenly glad that Jim’s gone, after all.

His ass is undeniably sore, but it’s the kind of ache that’s more pleasurable than painful, and he hobbles off to class with a distinct sense of pride in his waddle.

Today’s exam is a practicum, one that thankfully doesn’t require Leonard to sit, and he circles the simulation dummy a little more awkwardly than usual, poking and prodding and punching in vitals on the exam console. It’s not so complicated that he has to dedicate his full concentration to the task, and so he finds his attention wandering inside to the inevitability of falling in love with his best friend.

His best friend who he’s currently banging with like a couple of rabbits on a daily basis, who couldn’t possibly want him back the way Leonard wants him.

It isn’t as if he doesn’t think of Jim as being incapable of having a relationship—it’s only that he’s never seen evidence of the kid ever having much of one. He’s never brought any of his girls to their room, thank God, but Leonard’s seen their marks, smelled their perfumes, and that’s always been more than enough.

The dummy makes a disapproving beep when he stabs his tricorder at it too hard, and he corrects the pressure with a scowl.

He finishes up quickly after that and looks over his exam schedule while he eats, sitting on the steps outside the mess hall to avoid the inevitable crush of the lunch crowds. It’s colder today, the skies gray and enough bite to the wind to make him shiver and wish he thought to bring a jacket, but at least it distracts him from the pressure in his ass, the plug digging mercilessly into him with every shift of his weight. His second thought is if Jim dressed warmly enough today, and his appetite disappears in the nervous clutch of his stomach.

Second exam is a written final, one that takes up more of the afternoon than Leonard expected, and his fingers are cramping by the time he limps out with the rest of his classmates, blinking at the waning light. He checks for a comm from Jim almost instinctively, not realizing how strong the reflex is until he’s staring down at the blank screen.

The pang of disappointment is clear this time, and he shoves his comm back in his pocket. The temperature has plummeted with the sun, and his teeth are chattering by the time he makes it back to the dorm, his fingers frozen around the strap of his bag.

Whatever he expected to find inside, it isn’t this.

Jim’s sitting at his desk, dressed in sweats and a clean shirt, glasses pushed up over his forehead and looking like he’s ready to settle in for a long night of studying. The air in the room is slightly warm and damp, steam still spilling out from the cracked bathroom door, and Leonard looks at Jim uncertainly, rubbing his hands together to warm them. “Hey.”

Jim glances over his shoulder, spinning around in his seat to face the door. “Hey, Bones.”

“So, uh.” Leonard nudges the door shut behind him with his foot, leaning back against it and wondering at the strange awkwardness he’s feeling. It’s never been like this between him and Jim. Tense at times, yes, especially when one of them’s been a particular sort of jackass. But this awkwardness? No. There are simply certain things that are unachievable after you throw up in someone’s lap in a cramped space shuttle, and unfamiliarity is one of them.

“Tests go all right today?” Jim asks, when Leonard’s unable to come up with anything more than a vague grunt. “Think I aced xenobio. The professor was a nut, let me tell you, but he definitely carried through. ” He looks up at Leonard curiously, like he’s the one being weird. “What’s up?”

“You showered,” Leonard hears himself say, and Jim blinks slowly at him, his expression unreadable.

“Yeah, well,” he says, and Leonard wonders if he’s imagining the guardedness in Jim’s voice. “Figured we’d get right down to it when you got back.”

Leonard’s breath catches, and he has to bully his numb feet into moving, walking stiffly across the room and sitting down on the edge of his bed. He feels Jim’s eyes tracking his movement, watching him with the distant curiosity of a stranger, and God, Leonard can’t even begin to describe how wrong it feels for Jim to be looking at him like that.

“Look,” Leonard finally says. “We gotta talk.” He isn’t looking at Jim anymore, staring down at his knees instead, and so he misses the moment Jim takes off his glasses and leaves his seat, crossing the room and shoving Leonard unceremoniously onto his back. “Jim—”

“You’re late,” Jim says, ignoring his protests and straddling his waist, settling his weight on Leonard’s hips. “I was expecting you sooner.”

Leonard splutters weakly, but he’s been half-hard all day and now he can feel Jim’s cock through the black sweatpants, nudging against Leonard’s stomach. “I’m serious,” he manages. “We have to—”

“We don’t,” Jim says, staring down at Leonard, and there’s something desperate in the way he clutches Leonard’s shoulders, squeezing them distractedly. “We don’t have to talk at all.”

Leonard opens his mouth, and Jim leans down and kisses him, his tongue pushing between Leonard’s parted lips without warning. It’s hot and sloppy and completely drives all errant thoughts from Leonard’s mind, and he reaches up to grip Jim’s arms, sliding up to cup the back of his neck. He feels Jim twitch at his cold fingers and squeezes tighter, pulling him close.

He can smell the cleanness of Jim’s skin, feel the damp heat still clinging to his hairline and under his jaw, and he twists his face to the side, mouthing hungrily at the exposed curve of Jim’s neck. It’s almost a pity, he thinks, that Jim showered beforehand; Leonard likes the taste of his skin, the salty edge of sweat and lust. Suddenly, all he wants is to dirty up that cleanness, to bite and kiss and suck and mark Jim, and he shudders as he imagines licking his come off of Jim’s flushed skin.

“Bones,” Jim says hoarsely, his throat quivering beneath Leonard’s tongue, and he pushes at Leonard’s shoulders, prompting him farther up the bed.

Once Leonard settles into a comfortable position, the entire length of his body stretched out on the mattress, Jim kisses him again, one hard press of his lips before he pulls away again. He sits back on his heels and tugs his shirt off impatiently, wadding it up and tossing it to the side without looking before reaching for Leonard, a gleam in his eye.

“I’ve got it,” Leonard mutters, trying not to look too hard at Jim’s flexing muscles, at the smooth expanse of tan skin and muscle above him as he fumbles with his own clothes. He barely manages to get half his shirt undone before Jim grunts and takes over, yanking the shirt bodily over Leonard’s head.

“Come here,” Jim mutters, wriggling down Leonard’s body now and plucking at his belt. “Come here, come here, come—”

“I’m here,” Leonard says, exasperated, batting Jim’s hands away and undoing his pants himself, shoulders curling off the mattress to reach. “Jesus wept, kid.”

Leonard falls back to the bed when Jim finally yanks his pants down to his knees, bringing his underwear with them, and stares up at the ceiling, waiting for Jim’s hand or mouth. To his dismay, nothing happens, and he glances down with a start when he feels Jim’s fingers digging into his thighs.

Jim’s gazing steadily down at Leonard’s cock, not blinking until it finally twitches in self-consciousness and Leonard feels himself turning red.

“What? Somethin’ wrong?” he asks defensively, resisting the urge to knee Jim in the face.

Jim meets his eyes, a slow smirk spreading across his face. “No,” he says, and shifts his hand up, pressing his thumb against the underside of Leonard’s cock and holding it down against his belly before letting it spring free again. “No, it’s just…” He scoots up on his elbows, pinning Leonard’s thighs down with his forearms, and blinks up at Leonard innocently. “I like what I see, is all.”

Leonard’s heart seizes briefly, and he makes a choked noise before he can stop himself.

“Hmm?” Jim murmurs, glancing up at him. Leonard’s hips buck up involuntarily, the head of his cock bumping against Jim’s jaw. “Whoa.” Jim’s hand comes up, brushing against his balls before wrapping lightly around the base of his cock, and Leonard groans in frustration.

“Stop fucking around,” he says tightly, his heart pounding.

Jim glances up at him again, then dips his head down and wraps his lips around Leonard’s cock, sucking him down slowly with a patience that Leonard didn’t think he was capable of.

“Oh God,” Leonard says weakly when Jim pulls off again, even slower than before. He reaches down, sliding his fingers through Jim’s hair carefully and cupping the back of his head. Jim hums in approval at his touch, his tongue flicking beneath the head of Leonard’s cock as he slides back down, and Leonard bites back a strangled moan when he feels himself nudging at the back of Jim’s throat.

Jim’s good at this, he realizes in a daze, not for the first time in the few days they’ve been together – Christ, it’s only been days – and he could’ve sworn the kid hasn’t so much as looked at another man before him, but maybe he’s a natural. It figures, he thinks despairingly, that of course Jim Kirk would be good at giving head, like he’s good at everything else—

Jim’s teeth scrape warningly along his shaft, and Leonard yelps at the sting, his eyes flying open in shock. Jim holds him down, keeping him from bucking up, and raises his eyebrows. “You’re thinking too much,” Jim murmurs, his eyes dancing, and Leonard wonders abruptly if he’s this playful with his other lovers, teasing and smiling and perfect.

Goddammit, Len, don’t do this to yourself.

“Keep going,” Leonard says gruffly, hoping he doesn’t sound as overwhelmed as he feels, and Jim’s lips twitch in something terrifyingly close to affection before lowering his head again, kissing his way down Leonard’s cock before nuzzling at the base.

Leonard watches him do it and has to remind himself to breathe. He honestly doesn’t know why Jim’s dragging this out, why he’s changing the rules of the fast-paced game they’ve been playing so far. Because it is a game, no matter how Leonard feels about it, and he should’ve known better than to dig himself a grave this deep and this utterly addictive. It’s just a game, just a stupid game that should’ve been a win-win situation, except that now he’s losing fast.

Jim briefly abandons his cock to kiss along the curve of Leonard’s hip, pausing long enough between each one to suck a light mark into the skin and licking over it before moving on. Meanwhile, his hands pet up and down Leonard’s thighs, one of them darting in between to grip his balls tight enough for his breath to hitch in his chest, the other sliding around to palm at Leonard’ ass and—

“Fuck,” Jim breathes, his head shooting up to stare wildly at Leonard, and Leonard hears himself whimper as Jim’s fingertips nudge at the plug. “Fuck, Bones, is this what I think…”

“Probably.” Leonard’s voice shakes when Jim probes at the base of the plug again, wiggling it curiously. “H-Had it in since… since last night.”

Jim finally gets a grasp on the plug, and Leonard moans when it shifts inside him, pressing against his prostate. “Jesus, Bones, you had this in you all day?”

“Ah,” Leonard gasps, when Jim starts easing the plug out, dragging it against his rim. Yes, he wants to say, over and over again until he has no voice for it. Yes, and I pretended it was you.

God, he’s in way too fucking deep. McCoys have always fallen hard and fast – his Gram used to tell him that, then his Ma – and to be honest, he didn’t give it much credit until he looked into Jim’s bright blue eyes and tried to fool himself into thinking he wasn’t half in love with the kid from the second he sat down next to him on that goddamn shuttle.

Jim kisses the tip of his cock, wrapping his lips around the head and sucking as he shoves the plug back in, and Leonard jerks at the double sensation. “Fuck, Jim.”

“Not today,” Jim mumbles around his cock, pulling off with an obscene slurp and licking his lips. He looks up at Leonard, something dark and serious in his eyes, and says, “Let’s try something else.”

Leonard swallows thickly, his heart pounding, and nods without thinking. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He winds his fingers in Jim’s hair, his grip tightening when Jim hums encouragingly.

Jim doesn’t tease much longer, curling his fingers around the base of Leonard’s cock and stroking what his mouth can’t reach. Leonard can only hold on, his hips jerking helplessly into the eager heat of Jim’s mouth, feeling Jim’s head bob beneath his hands.

And just as he’s on the edge of climax, each breath growing tighter in his chest, sweat dripping into his eyes, Jim slows and pulls off. He licks a long stripe up the underside of Leonard’s cock as he goes, before swiping his tongue over his swollen lips and meeting Leonard’s eyes.

“You taste so fucking good,” he says hoarsely, and Leonard stops breathing.

Somehow this is… different from the other times – slower, sweeter, everything he’s been trying to avoid, and he can feel the walls tumbling down around him with every passing second. Jim’s still watching him, lips parted and slick, his breath hot and damp on Leonard’s sensitive flesh, and Leonard finds himself reaching out, stroking a thumb roughly over Jim’s cheek.

“Please,” is all he manages, and there’s a million things left unsaid behind the one word.

Jim moans softly, turning his head to press a blind kiss to Leonard’s palm, opening his mouth and licking at Leonard’s fingers. He moans again and Leonard echoes it when he feels the vibrations against his hand, his fingers slipping out of Jim’s mouth and fumbling against his jaw.

“Oh God,” Leonard grunts, when Jim chases after his fingers, kissing them again and licking between the gaps, his hand curling around Leonard’s cock and stroking it languidly. He can feel pleasure building tight in his balls, hot and throbbing in his stomach, and he thrusts up into Jim’s loose grip. “Jim,” he gasps, his fingers twitching uselessly against Jim’s cheek. “Jim, oh fuck, oh fuck—”

Too late, Jim’s eyes widen in understanding and he releases Leonard’s hand, trying to suck Leonard’s cock back into his mouth. The first spurt catches him unawares, dripping down his cheek, and Leonard shudders helplessly as he comes, his hips jerking up and the head of his cock bumping against Jim’s jaw.

“Holy shit,” he thinks he hears Jim say, through the ringing in his ears. When he manages to focus his eyes again, he sees Jim staring up at him in awe, ropes of come streaked across his face and one thick stripe dripping over the bridge of his nose.

“Sorry,” Leonard slurs, trying to shift his weight, but Jim holds him still, bending down to lick at his still stubbornly hard cock. Leonard shivers, his cock twitching from the stimulation, and he reaches down to drag his fingertips through the mess of come dripping slowly down Jim’s cheek, trying to clean him up a little. “You’re a damn sight, kid.”

“Your fault,” Jim murmurs, and he turns his face to lick Leonard’s fingers clean, his tongue darting out to catch a drop clinging to the corner of his mouth. He pulls off with a wet pop and licks his lips again. “Think you can do it again?”

“I—what?” Leonard blinks his eyes open, just in time to see Jim lower his head and suck Leonard’s cock into his mouth. “Oh fuck, Jim.” He grabs at Jim’s head, uncaring of his sticky fingers, and he isn’t sure if he’s trying to pull Jim off or hold him in place because goddamn, it feels good.

Then Jim twists the plug again and Leonard thrusts up unintentionally into his mouth, a startled moan hitching from his throat. He feels spent and full and desperate all at once, his cock hardening again as the plug nudges and presses against his prostate. He tangles his fingers in Jim’s hair, if only to have something to hold onto, trying to catch his breath.

“Come here,” he pants, tugging weakly, twitching when Jim licks up the underside of his cock and exhales lightly over the sensitive head. “You too… I want to…”

Thankfully, it only takes a second before Jim’s face clears in comprehension, and there’s a certain clumsiness in the way he scrambles up immediately that Leonard takes pride in. They manage to get settled with nothing more severe than an elbow to the ribs, Jim now leaning over Leonard on all fours and bending down to suck at Leonard’s cock again, while his own hangs enticingly overhead.

Leonard just looks at him for a moment, wondering at which point Jim managed to get his pants off without him noticing, and thinking that he probably should’ve paid attention, because watching Jim take his clothes off is a treat in itself.

“You zoning out on me, Bones?” Jim’s voice floats up to him, vaguely amused. “Tell me if this is getting too hard for you.”

“Is that a fucking pun?” Leonard demands, outraged, and he reaches up to wrap his fingers around Jim’s cock in retaliation, watching with fascination as Jim shudders and his cock jerks in Leonard’s hand, a drop of precome welling at the tip as he strokes up once and stops.

“Shit,” Jim breathes, his voice tight, and he spreads his knees wider. “Please.”

It’s something about the way he says it, the effortless honesty in the way his body arches towards Leonard, that makes Leonard’s heart clench and his throat tighten, because goddamn it, this is everything he ever wanted and yet nothing like it at all.

“Jim,” he whispers, and the words are right there on the tip of his tongue.

“Bones, please.” Jim’s voice cracks, his hips jerking forward and the head of his cock dragging across Leonard’s jaw, smearing precome over his parted lips.

That brief taste is more than Leonard can bear. He groans and reaches up, gripping Jim’s thighs and pulling his cock down into his mouth. He sucks at the tip, tasting precome and sweat, echoing Jim’s moan as he feels the vibrations around his own cock. He’s caught in a dizzying loop of sensation, his cock throbbing, his mouth stretched almost obscenely wide as he tries to take all of Jim.

He whimpers when Jim starts playing with the plug again, wiggling it out slightly and letting it sink back in, Leonard’s muscles clenching involuntarily and pulling it back into his body. He’s going to come again, he can feel it, his legs shaking and his skin burning wherever Jim’s touching him.

Jim’s cock nudges at the back of his throat, and Leonard coughs reflexively as he tries to take him all, his nose pressed against Jim’s balls. Jim holds himself there for a moment before lifting his hips up again, his cock wet and glistening and dripping over Leonard’s open mouth, then eases back in slowly, like he’s fucking Leonard open, and it’s that thought that drives Leonard to a second climax.

He shudders when he comes, twisting his head away to keep from biting Jim, gasping half-formed curses, praises, he doesn’t even know. He feels Jim swallowing around him, some of Leonard’s come dripping down his shaft, and Jim licks that up as well, moaning unrestrainedly.

“God,” Leonard grunts, shuddering. He presses an open-mouthed kiss to Jim’s thigh, exhaling roughly. “God, Jim.”

He feels, rather than hears, Jim’s chuckle, his smile tickling against Leonard’s sensitive skin. It’s the laugh that undoes him, the quiver of delight through Jim’s body, and Leonard turns his face back to his task, swallowing Jim’s cock down his throat without warning.

Jim twitches hard above him, a startled whimper escaping his lips. “Bones—”

Leonard groans around him, pulling back and hollowing his cheeks, sucking at the head. He wraps an arm around Jim’s thighs, pulling him down, fucking his own mouth with Jim’s cock. There’s a distraction in the act that he craves, the way every thrust drives Jim deeper inside, bumping at the back of his throat, prying him open in a way that he’s only dared to imagine.

“Fuck, fuck,” Jim says wildly, his words punctuated with breathless grunts. His control slips briefly, his hips jerking spasmodically. “Bones, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna—” He cuts himself off with a low, frustrated noise, his head thumping down to rest on Leonard’s thigh. “Oh God,” he groans eloquently, and his cock swells in Leonard’s mouth as he comes.

Leonard nearly chokes at the first spurt, his eyes watering reflexively, but he swallows through it, breathing shallowly through his nose. God, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of this, of the way Jim tastes, the way he smells, the way his muscles clench and shudder as he fucks Leonard’s mouth a few more times, the last drops of come dripping down his chin.

Leonard holds him there for a long moment, sucking until Jim’s a shaking mess and panting harshly against Leonard’s leg. He finally pulls off with a satisfied smirk, cleaning Jim off with slow, lingering kisses.

“Christ,” Jim grunts, and his limbs finally give out, toppling him sideways off of Leonard. They lie like that for a while, staring up at the ceiling as they catch their breath, and Leonard throws an arm over his eyes, exhaling in a long, low rush.

He can still taste Jim in the back of his mouth, his lips burning with the stretch of a spit-slick cock sliding down his throat. Jim’s hand’s still on his hip, petting him absently, almost sleepily, and Leonard wonders if he even knows he’s doing it. He pushes himself up with an effort, turning himself around so that his feet tangle with Jim’s on the scattered pillows, his lips pressed to Jim’s shoulder almost by pure accident.

“Bones,” Jim says, barely a murmur, his eyelashes stirring on his cheek as he glances over at Leonard. There’s a lazy smile on his lips, the smile of the well-fucked, and something thumps hard in Leonard’s chest when he sees a fleck of his come caught in the stubble by Jim’s chin.

“You’ve got…” Leonard begins, then snorts and leans forward, bracing himself with a hand on Jim’s bare chest as he kisses the mess away. Then he kisses Jim, for good measure, and Jim’s hand comes up instantly to cup the back of his head, grasping Leonard’s damp hair and holding him in place.

Jim still tastes like him, Leonard realizes, and he can’t resist one last lick into Jim’s mouth, sucking briefly on his full lower lip before pulling back. Jim’s head rises to follow him, his eyes blinking open, dazed.

“Gimme a sec,” Leonard mumbles, falling back onto the bed with a groan. “Ain’t as young as I used to be.”

“You’re hardly old,” Jim points out.

“Yeah, well,” Leonard murmurs, and he promptly forgets his point.

…………..

Jim doesn’t sleep.

He watches Bones instead, because it seems like such a better alternative, and tries not to think about what it means to feel his heart pound while watching his best friend fall into a post-coital coma.

Bones has pretty lips, for a man. Pretty eyes too, with long lashes that flutter unconsciously, his brows furrowing in his sleep. “Bones,” Jim says aloud, testing the silence that’s fallen between them. A muscle in Bones’ jaw twitches, and he makes a half-noise that’s mostly air, but he doesn’t wake.

Jim moves slowly, shifting onto his side and propping his head up on his hand, reaching out with the other and hovering just short of touching Bones’ collarbone. He can feel the heat of Bones’ body, and he draws closer, like a moth to a flame. Bones takes a deep breath then, one that fills his chest and exhales as a sigh, and Jim makes a small noise when Bones’ skin presses against his palm briefly.

He should have flinched, or pulled back, or stopped, but he doesn’t. Instead he watches his own hand, fascinated, as he follows Bones’ chest back down, his thumb resting over his fluttering pulse, soft hair tickling his fingertips. There’s a freckle at the base of Bones’ neck, just beside Jim’s palm, and he’s suddenly seized with the mad urge to kiss it.

“Bones,” he tries again, his voice hoarse. He shifts his weight, and Bones snuffles, his body curling instinctively towards Jim. There’s something undeniably sweet about seeing him like this, the long lines of his body soft and relaxed in sleep, his fingers curled loosely by his side and bumping against Jim’s ribs. It’s another side of him that Jim hasn’t seen before, one that he wants to look at for hours on end, for days, and he pulls his hand away quickly.

His fingers still tingle, Bones’ heat still lingering on his skin, and Jim bends down, following that mad, insane urge and kissing him right on that goddamn freckle. Bones mutters incoherently, his breath puffing out across the top of Jim’s head, and Jim kisses him again, his nose pressed into the soft flesh above Bones’ clavicle.

He kisses his way down, soft touches of his lips that don’t last more than a couple of seconds. He rubs his cheek against Bones’ chest, unable to resist the rasp of stubble on hair, and Bones twitches at that, his hand coming up instinctively to rest on the back of Jim’s neck. Jim lets him, because a sleeping Bones is a kinder, more honest Bones.

Bones’ cock is still soft, but it twitches when Jim mouths encouragingly at the base, his thumbs stroking over Bones’ hips in slow circles. Bones tastes like salt and musk and come, and Jim just holds him in his mouth for a long moment, basking in the now familiar weight, the incomparable sensation of a cock slowly hardening on his tongue.

He can’t help but moan, sucking more of Bones into his mouth, and Bones’ fingers twitch up to the back of his head. Jim pulls back slowly, holding the head between his lips, and nearly has a heart attack at the sight of Bones quivering beneath him, his cock slick with spit and fully hard. His eyes are still closed, his chest hitching as his breaths grow faster, and Jim gives him a moment before opening his mouth, letting Bones’ cock spring free.

“Fuck,” he croaks, his own cock stirring now in definite interest. A drop of precome wells up at the head of Bones’ cock as he watches, trembling at the tip until it finally rolls slowly down the shaft, and Jim groans faintly, fumbling down to push at his growing erection, trying to keep himself from coming on the spot.

Bones makes a soft noise, his lips parting in a sigh, and he shifts his hips, arching in a shallow arc before falling back on the bed. There’s a hint of frustration in his next moan, his eyebrows drawing together, and Jim shushes him absently, reaching out and tracing a finger up his shaft, pressing the pad of his index finger against the dripping slit.

“Jim,” Bones gasps, and Jim freezes, glancing up. Bones’ face is flushed, his mouth panting open, but his eyes are still clenched shut. His fingers slide blindly through Jim’s hair, grasping and releasing over and over again until Jim wraps his hand around Bones’ cock and strokes him once; then, the fingers hold on tight, and Jim doesn’t want it any other way.

He lowers his head and kisses the head of Bones’ cock, kisses all the way down to his own knuckles and then slides down to nuzzle against his balls, mouthing at them gently. Bones twitches and exhales, his legs spreading unconsciously to accommodate Jim as he scoots closer, working his shoulder under Bones’ right thigh.

The plug is still in Bones, slick with sweat, and Jim grasps the base with his fingertips, easing it out carefully. Bones makes a sharp noise at that, his legs twitching, and Jim stares at his reddened, loose hole, clenching and trembling in the absence of the plug. On a whim, he pushes his fingertip in, sucking Bones’ cock into his mouth again as his finger slides in easily to the second knuckle, Bones’ body soft and eager around him.

A second hand suddenly joins the one already on his head, and Jim glances up at the sharp intake above him.

“Fuck,” Bones mouths, his eyes still dazed and confused as he stares down at Jim, and he tightens down around Jim’s finger slowly, disbelievingly. “You…”

“Welcome back,” Jim tries to say, his mouth still full, and all that results is a series of vibrations down Bones’ cock and a trail of saliva dripping down his shaft.

“Fuck,” Bones gasps again, his voice high and breathless, and his hands press urgently against Jim’s head, urging him to slide down farther before pulling him back again so Bones can stare at him wildly. “Fuck, Jim.”

“You gonna come?” Jim manages, mumbling around the head before flicking his tongue against the slit, and Bones arches with a startled grunt.

“Thought I was dreamin’,” Bones slurs, his legs spreading wider, and Jim hums, pressing his finger in deeper. He pulls off and strokes Bones with his hand, thumbing over the head occasionally just to watch Bones twitch.

“Was I any good?”

Bones pretends to think, but his eyes flicker shut when Jim catches his slit briefly with his thumbnail. “You were decent,” he says. “Now for the love of God, Jim—” He cuts off with a startled whine, and Jim pushes the second finger in deeper.

Bones is still slick and loose from the plug, his body grasping helplessly at Jim’s fingers, his mouth open and panting as he tries to regain his composure. “Don’t stop,” he groans. “Don’t—for fuck’s sake, Jim, don’t stop.”

“Not gonna stop,” Jim promises. He opens his mouth, and he might have said more, but he bites back his confessions and kisses his way down Bones’ cock instead, dragging his tongue up the shaft and sliding his lips back down the underside. Bones moans and trembles beneath him, his heel digging hard under Jim’s shoulder blade, urging him faster.

“Jim, oh God, I’m—I’m close—”

Jim grunts in acknowledgment, and he adds just enough teeth on his next pass over the head of Bones’ cock to make Bones shout, his muscles contracting sharply around Jim’s fingers as his cock throbs and spills.

The first spurt catches Jim on the cheek, the second down his throat as he wraps his lips over the head, just enough to feel Bones quivering, his voice breaking with every string of come that drips out of the corner of Jim’s mouth and rolls down his shaft, smearing white over the inside of his thighs. He mouths his way down and licks up the mess, hearing Bones whimper above him when he slips his fingers free, spreading his hand over Bones’ hip to keep him still.

“Think you got one more in you?” Jim raises his eyebrows, murmuring the question against Bones’ groin, Bones’ cock stirring beside his cheek. “Just one more, Bones, c’mon.”

“Dunno,” Bones gasps, his eyes glazed, and he reaches down clumsily to cup Jim’s face with one hand. It’s an unexpectedly tender move, one that causes Jim to freeze and glance up, wondering if he’s reading too hard between the lines - if there even are lines anymore. He can still taste Bones on his tongue, no matter how many times he swallows, and a small voice in the corner of his mind whispers that he wouldn’t mind tasting it for the rest of his life.

Jim exhales with a loud huff, turning his face into Bones’ hand to hide his expression. “One more time,” he says again, lips stirring Bones’ palm. He strokes the inside of Bones’ leg, rubbing the trails of come there into the flushed skin. “Please?”

Bones sighs, his fingers twitching against Jim’s jaw. “You’re wearin’ me out, kid,” he murmurs, his voice low, but affectionate.

“You know you like it.” Jim pauses, wondering if he’s said too much, but Bones doesn’t stop moving, stroking Jim’s cheek. “Let me try anyway?”

Bones says nothing, but his hand moves up to run through Jim’s hair. “Go ahead,” he murmurs at last, and when Jim dares to glance up, Bones is watching him back.

Jim blinks hard. “Don’t mind if I do,” he says, ducking his head again. Bones makes a soft noise when Jim licks at the slick, flushed head of his cock again, one that isn’t completely pleasure, and Jim briefly abandons his efforts, turning his head to kiss the inside of Bones’ thigh instead.

“Go slow,” Bones tells him, sighing the words as he combs through Jim’s hair, rubbing his fingertips absently behind his ear. “Want to feel it this time.”

Jim takes a deep breath, pressing his face against Bones’ leg and sighing. “Yeah,” he whispers, trying to keep his voice steady; he’s not completely successful. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Bones pinches Jim’s cheek, gently enough to keep from hurting, but just enough to make a point. “Get up here.”

Jim leaves one last kiss on Bones’ thigh, making sure to scrape his unshaven cheek over it on his way up. Bones tugs and pulls at him, grumbling under his breath until Jim’s settled along his side, Bones’ arm around his shoulder.

“You’re going to lose circulation,” Jim says thoughtlessly, and Bones snorts, turning his face towards Jim’s.

“Shut up,” he advises fondly, and Jim shivers when Bones nuzzles forward and kisses him. Bones’ lips are parted, bitten red, and he suddenly visualizes Bones trying to stifle his moans, white teeth against pink skin…

Bones bites him sharply, and Jim gives a decidedly unsexy yelp, his breath hissing out in a shaky moan when Bones sucks at his lower lip, licking at the sting. “Concentrate,” Bones murmurs, releasing his lip with a faint pop. He shifts closer, his hip bumping against Jim’s, and, whoa—

“There you go,” Bones sighs, when Jim wraps his fingers around his hardening cock. “Fuck, Jim, yeah. Like that.” He tilts his hips up, thrusting slowly into Jim’s hand, and Jim groans, a fresh surge of need washing through him.

“Dammit, Bones.” He rolls forward, half pinning Bones down as he kisses him, pushing his tongue past Bones’ lips and muffling the rising moan. He strokes faster, slowing at the peak, twisting his palm over the head the way he knows Bones likes, and Bones’ hips buck forward into his hand. Jim kisses him harder and wonders how they managed to come to this.

“Jim,” Bones gasps, and he twists away, tucking his face against Jim’s neck. “Oh fuck, Jim.” His hips jerk up again and Jim pushes him back down unthinkingly, wrenching another ragged moan from Bones.

“Thought you wanted to feel it.”

“I do, I—” Bones clutches at him, his fingers bruising Jim’s arms, and shudders so hard that Jim feels it through his whole body. His eyes are glassy, cheeks flushed in pleasure, and Jim bites his cheek when Bones’ tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Faster.”

Jim slows down.

Bones groans, a long, aching sound from deep in his chest, his skin slick with sweat as he slides against Jim’s body. “God, Jim, please.”

Jim swallows hard, his fingers nearly slipping from Bones’ cock before he readjusts his grip. Bones is trembling and hot beneath him, so wet with precome that Jim can feel it dripping over his fingers, welling from the slit and smearing against Bones’ stomach. “You gonna come?” he manages, and Bones whines, his breath hitching in his throat.

“Please,” Bones breathes again, his hand groping down to tangle with Jim’s, tightening his fingers around his cock. “Fuck, please, make me c—”

Jim kisses him, speeding up his strokes, and swallows Bones’ gasps and moans, digging his thumb beneath the head of Bones’ cock just as he bites down at his lip.

“Fuck!” Bones’s voice cracks as he comes, gasping the word into Jim’s mouth. Jim loosens his grip, feels Bones’ cock jerk and twitch as he spills in thick spurts over his stomach, pooling over his hip and dripping over Jim’s fingers.

Jim lets him settle, stroking absently through the mess of come on Bones’ skin. He waits for Bones’ eyes to refocus before raising his hand and deliberately licking his fingers clean.

Bones groans at the sight, his limbs slack with exhaustion, and he sags back into the bed. “Tease.”

“Gonna do something about it?” Jim asks hopefully. He’s been hard since the first kiss, his cock dripping wet and nudging pointedly against Bones’ thigh.

Bones flaps a hand dismissively, the only part of him he seems to be able to move, and Jim feels a dull throb of disappointment before Bones rolls his eyes.

“C’mere, moron,” Bones says, his voice heavy and slurred. He tugs at Jim’s arm, pulls him until Jim straddles his chest, hands braced against the headboard.

Then Bones looks up at him, his eyes hooded and dark, and opens his mouth. “Come on,” he whispers, his lips just barely brushing against Jim’s cock, and Jim doesn’t recognize the sound of his own moan.

He grips the headboard tight with one hand and guides his cock with the other, nudging past Bones’ lips, shivering when Bones opens his mouth wider and just takes him. Swallows him down with small helpless noises, his tongue teasing at the underside.

Jim tries to hold back, he really does. But after a few tentative thrusts, Bones makes a noise of utter frustration and tips his head forward, mouthing at Jim’s cock and reaching up to dig his fingers into Jim’s thighs. It’s less of an invitation than a demand, and Jim’s more than happy to give Bones what he wants.

Bones moans around him like he’s dying for it, like it’s all he wants, like Jim’s all he wants, and if Jim closes his eyes as he fucks Bones’ eager mouth, he can pretend it’s true.

He finally comes with Bones’ lips wrapped tight around his cock, his cock throbbing in the back of Bones’ throat, and he’s still blinking spots out from behind his eyes when he pulls free and tries to remember how to breathe.

“Bones, I—” Jim gasps, not thinking anymore, not thinking at all, and he closes his eyes, tangling his fingers in Bones’ sweaty hair. “God, Bones, I think I fucking love you.”

He hears a startled grunt from below, Bones’ fingers tightening on his thigh, and his eyes snap open instantly, cold panic surging through him. “Jim—”

“Love your mouth,” Jim amends hastily, his heart pounding, and he forces himself to look down at Bones, to run his thumb over Bones’ swollen lips and wipe away a bit of come that’s dripped out the corner. “Jesus, Bones.”

Bones gazes up at him, his mouth still open, his lips red and slick. He licks them and manages to raise an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Love your cock.”

Jim’s heart’s still racing, and it gives a particularly hard jolt at the look on Bones’ face. “Stay,” he says unthinkingly, and he stares down into Bones’ face, silently pleading. “Just… just this once.”

Bones looks down at him, his expression unreadable. “What?”

Jim plucks at the sheets, pulling the fabric up in short peaks before smoothing them over again. “Just… sleep here tonight, y’know? With me.”

Bones doesn’t answer for a terrifyingly long moment, and Jim holds his breath.

“Give me a sec,” Bones says at last. He sounds a little odd, but not distinct enough for Jim to identify the undertones. “Let me clean up a bit.”

Bones doesn’t wait for Jim to tell him that they’re both vaguely disgusting, and Jim watches him retreat into the bathroom, the door sliding firmly shut behind him. He thinks about how Bones disappeared the night before and came back with a plug in his ass, and wonders…

He wonders if Bones did it to keep Jim in him longer.

Stupid, he thinks, then says it aloud for good measure, muffling his face in the pillow. The pillowcase still smells like Bones, and he lies there and breathes it in until he hears the bathroom door open again.

“Hey,” Bones says, and Jim rolls away guiltily, looking up in time to see Bones run his fingers through his damp hair, water still dripping from his chin and gleaming on his bare chest. “Scoot.”

Jim moves over until he’s pressed against the wall, and he watches as Bones yanks the dirty top sheet away and steals the blankets from Jim’s bed, dumping them unceremoniously on Jim before sliding into bed beside him. He’s warm, maybe a little too warm, but Jim presses up against him anyway, hiding his face against Bones’ shoulder so that he doesn’t have to see Bones’ reaction.

“Lights off,” he hears Bones say, and breathes out as the lights dim around them. He wants to stay awake longer, if only to feel Bones against him, but fuck, Bones wore him out tonight and if he’s this tired, Bones has gotta be much worse.

“Goodnight, Bones,” he mumbles, already half out, and there’s a heartbeat of hesitation before Bones’ arm shifts to circling around Jim’s shoulders.

“Night, kid.”


	6. Chapter 6

Jim wakes with a feeling of faint disorientation, the weight of the mattress shifting beneath him. He exhales in complaint and rubs the sleep from his eyes, blinking drowsily at Bones, who’s now standing above him, rubbing at the back of his neck. Sunlight flickers through the window and paints him in a kaleidoscope of golden light and shifting shadow, catches the edges of his jaw and his mussed hair and the curve of his bare shoulder, and in that moment, Jim wants so badly that it _hurts_.

“Morning,” Bones says, when he sees Jim watching. “You snore.”

Jim yawns and rolls over onto his back, squinting vaguely at the ceiling. There’s a stain there, shaped like a blobby crescent moon—a product of an unfortunate plumbing incident last year from the floor above. “Do I?”

Bones snorts. “Could’ve woken the dead.” He turns and moves before Jim can see his expression; he looks at the curve of Bones’ back instead as Bones stands and thinks about licking his way down Bones’ spine, connecting the trail of scattered freckles below his shoulder blades and—

Bones pauses in the middle of the room before he looks back, seemingly unperturbed at marching his bare ass around in front of Jim, and Jim guiltily jerks his eyes up to Bones’ face. “You’re free until the afternoon?”

“Mmm.”

Bones nods, and he looks at Jim, then down at his bed again. “You can stay, if you like,” he says, and disappears into the bathroom. Jim stares helplessly at the closed door and resists the urge to bury himself in the warm spot Bones left behind.

 _You can stay_.

The sheets still smell like Bones and sex; these days, they’re one and the same and Jim can feel himself getting hard just at the thought. He presses his face into the mattress, taking one last deep breath. He can stay—all he _wants_ is to stay—but self-delusion has a limit, and soon he won’t be able to even pretend.

He makes sure he’s long gone by the time Bones finishes in the bathroom.

…………..

He thinks he probably should’ve seen this coming a mile away, but somehow the whole damn situation managed to blindside him and leave him reeling anyway. Jim draws a heart on the corner of his console and stares at it speculatively for a long moment before clearing the screen. _You fucked up big time now, Kirk,_ he can’t help but think. _You’re gonna ruin the only real friendship you ever had, all because you couldn’t—_

“Five minutes remaining,” says the proctor, boredom etched in every syllable, and Jim submits his exam and leaves.

For his final exam of the year, it feels rather anticlimactic.

There’s a bruise on his side that he can feel with every step as he wanders through the halls, throbbing just enough to make itself noticed, and he wonders absently if it’s from Bones’ fingers gripping him tight, or from his knees as he wrapped his legs around Jim’s waist and pulled him closer. It’s colder today than the day before, but he feels warm just at the memory.   

His comm beeps, and he pulls it out to see a brief message.

**I ordered in.**

Bones always sends messages in short, ambiguous spurts, like he’s jabbing out a telegram instead of a text. Three seconds later, an image of takeout from the Indian restaurant by the harbor appears, and Jim can’t help but smile when he sees the shadow of Bones’ finger at the corner of the picture. He’s never been good behind the camera, though God knows he’d be amazing in front of one. Jim still remembers the way he looked last night, face soft and open in sleep, and he _wishes_ —

Another beep.

**Don’t keep me waiting.**

Definitely nothing ambiguous about that.

The room is empty when he finally makes his way back, and he worries for a brief moment before he sees the boxes of takeout on the table and hears the sound of running water in the bathroom.

“Bones?” he calls, setting his bag down in a chair and kicking his shoes off. After a moment’s thought, he pushes them around with his feet until they’re neatly lined up against the wall beside Bones’ own shoes. “Food’s gonna get cold, if you leave it out.”

There’s a muffled thump from the bathroom, and Jim frowns at the door. “You okay?”

“Goddammit,” comes the grumbled response, and Jim sets a hand on the door console.

“I’m coming in,” he says, two seconds too late as the door hisses open.

The first thing he sees is Bones’ contorted figure, one foot propped up on the toilet and other half tangled in his pants and underwear, his arms raised awkwardly in what looks like an attempt to unbutton his shirt without actually touching it. There’s streaks of white dripping from his hair, his shoulders, and oh _God_ , rolling down his bare thighs— Jim’s brain abruptly short-circuits.

“Oh,” Bones says, looking at Jim from under his arm, and he shuffles around to show the white goop still clinging to the front of his shirt. The fabric is soaked through in places, clinging to Bones’ torso and curving around his muscles. Jim feels faint. “Had a bit of an accident.”

Jim isn’t sure he can even speak yet, but thankfully Bones keeps going, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth tugging into a scowl.

“Anders fucked up the simulation today, snagged the dummy’s femoral artery and sprayed this shit _everywhere_. Thank _God_ Sylvia caught it before our grades went down the drain along with half the—”

“Shower,” Jim blurts, his mind finally latching desperately to a single word that isn’t “fuck”, “Bones”, and “ _please”_.

Bones blinks. “That a question or an order?” There’s an odd roughness to his tone, one that threatens either bodily harm or, Jim fervently hopes, mindblowing sex to come.

“Yes. Both. Fuck,” Jim says. He’s rooted to the spot, helpless from the very beginning. “Jesus, Bones, _look_ at you.”

Bones looks down bemusedly at himself for a moment, then glances up at Jim, a smirk playing at his lips. His posture is looser now, more deliberate as he slouches to one side, the hem of his shirt fighting to cover his cock. “Get your mind outta the damn gutter, kid.”

Jim makes a wretched noise of protest and takes a step closer. Bones backs up instantly.

“Seriously, Jim, God knows what’s in this stuff. I should really—”

“Take this off,” Jim interrupts, pulling at Bones’ shirt. “Wanna feel you.”

“Fuck,” is all Bones manages, knocking Jim’s hands away so that they can get at the buttons, and Jim can hardly blame him. He leans in and mouths at Bones’ neck, kissing and licking at every new inch of exposed skin. He’s careful to avoid the drops of white, if only to keep Bones from having an aneurysm, but all he can think of is marking Bones like this, marking Bones as _his_ , seeing him fucked out and gasping and—

“What?“ Jim asks, when he realizes Bones is still trying to speak. All the buttons are undone now, and he runs his hands down Bones’ chest and stomach, his fingers catching on soft hair and warm skin. He’s not gentle; he doesn’t have to be, and Bones only pushes harder into his touch.

"Shit,” Bones groans, trying to wrench his arms free and only tangling them more. “Oh, for the love of—”

Inspiration strikes. Jim yanks him close, reaching around Bones and grasping at the loose end of his sleeves. Bones makes a small noise when Jim tugs the sleeves tighter, knotting them together and keeping Bones’ arms trapped behind him.

“ _Jim_ …”

Jim kisses him again, crowding Bones backwards until he’s pressed against the bathroom wall, one leg bent awkwardly to accommodate the toilet. He kisses him until Bones’ mouth goes soft and slack beneath him, until he’s gasping and breathless, and Jim keeps kissing him until his heart’s pounding in his throat.

“Fuck,” he says then, because no matter how much he kisses Bones, he’s never going to get tired of it.

Bones tilts his head back against the wall and looks at him with eyes gone hot and dark, his lips parted and wet and his cheeks flushed red, and he smirks when he sees Jim looking. “Isn’t that my line?”

Jim snorts and reaches down, grabbing Bones’ waist and jerking him closer. He feels Bones shiver and strokes his thumbs over the smooth skin over Bones’ hips, digging his nails lightly into every freckle he finds and revelling in every soft sound Bones makes.

“This gets you hot, huh?” Jim murmurs. He pulls his hands away just because he can, and Bones flops back against the wall, panting and trembling. “Being tied up.”

“Fuck you.” There’s heat in it, but not the kind that’s accompanied by anger, and Bones shifts his weight as he speaks, spreading his legs wider. His hard cock slides against the fabric of Jim’s pants, stains it with every involuntary twitch of his hips. It’s maddening, how much Jim wants him in that instant.

“I was thinking that maybe I’d fuck you instead,“ Jim says conversationally, and he feels Bones squirm against him.

"Yeah?” Bones says, his voice already hoarse as if Jim’s already spent the past two hours fucking him stupid. “You think?”

“Yeah.” Jim runs a single finger down from Bones’ collarbone to his groin, and he touches his thumb to the head of Bones’ cock where precome’s starting to well. When he pulls it away, there’s a sticky strand clinging to his finger, and Bones shivers, his breath catching in his throat. “Yeah, I really do.”

Bones stares at him, his mouth slack and red, chest heaving with every shaky breath. His hair’s falling into his eyes, and Jim brushes it aside, leaning in and touching his mouth to Bones’ temple. “Get in,” he murmurs, grasping at Bones’ waist. “I want you.”

There’s a moment of hesitation before Bones’ cheek slides against his in a jerky nod, and Jim’s chest aches.

It all happens in a wet, clumsy blur, Bones cursing as he whacks his elbow against the shower door and Jim’s shirt catching on his chin as he struggles to peel it off his head, but in the end they manage. Bones groans and trembles beneath the water jets, his chest slipping against the shower wall and hips tilted back, legs spread as far as he can as Jim wraps an arm around his waist and works him open patiently.

“Fuck,” Bones says thickly, and he clenches helplessly around Jim’s fingers. He’s hot and tight, his skin slippery against Jim’s, water dripping from his jaw and rolling down the bunched muscles between his shoulders. “More.”

Jim surges forward, shoves Bones against the wall and presses his open mouth to the side of Bones’ neck. “I’ll give it to you when I’m ready,” he says, his voice rough and harsher than he wants, than he feels, and he doesn’t know where the words come from. But Bones doesn’t throw him off; he trembles instead, a long shudder from his head to his toes, and his next exhale edges on a moan.

Jim’s so hard he can barely breathe, and he’s certain Bones isn’t much better off. He bites the inside of his cheek and tries to stay calm, tries to keep himself from rutting against Bones’ bare skin until they both come, because Bones deserves more than that. God, Bones deserves the _world_. Jim curls his fingers, fucks them in and out at an excruciating pace that leaves Bones panting, trying to push back against Jim’s hand and groaning in frustration when he can’t. He’s faintly surprised when Bones gives a long, low moan and tightens all over, the flush on the back of his neck spreading halfway down his shoulders.

“You _came._ ” Jim says dumbly, his heart hammering in his throat. He leans forward over Bones’ back and reaches down curiously, squeezing Bones’ cock. “Jesus, that’s fucking hot.” Bones is still hard, slick and hot in Jim’s hand, and he groans when Jim gives him a slow, easy stroke before letting go again. “I didn’t even _touch_ you.”

“You touched me plenty,” Bones chokes out. When he glares back wildly over his shoulder, his eyes are glazed and his cheeks flushed with more than the damp heat of the air around them. “Fuck me already, Jesus Christ.”

“If I fuck you, I’ll come,” Jim protests. His voice cracks and he swallows hard, feels it click in his throat. “Don’t want it to end like this.”

Bones goes still for a moment, long enough that Jim’s worried he’s said too much, but then Bones sighs and shoves away from the way, knocking Jim back a step. By the time he catches himself with a hand on the wall, Bones is on his knees and facing him, face tilted up to avoid the spray of water.

“Don’t care if you come,” Bones growls. His mouth is red and wet; he licks his lips as Jim stares and smirks. “We’ve got all night.” He shuffles closer, his cock bobbing between his legs, and presses a hungry kiss to Jim’s hip. His mouth is still open, his tongue hot when it drags down to the crease of Jim’s thigh, his teeth pressing briefly against the sensitive skin.

Jim doesn’t realize he’s moaning until Bones glances up, something dark and desperate behind his eyes. Bones’ stubble scrapes along his navel and Jim whimpers, his breath hiccuping. He’s panting by the time Bones’ mouth finally reaches his cock, his face tilted to the side so Jim can see the way his lips wrap around the head, the way his cheek bulges when Bones sucks him deeper. When Bones moans, Jim feels it through his whole body.

“Fuck, Bones.” He buries his fingers in Bones’ wet hair, careful not to tug, and takes in deep, ragged breaths. Bones blinks up at him, drops of water clinging to his wet eyelashes, and _sucks_ , and Jim comes in a violent, helpless rush. His knees threaten to give out until he locks them, his head banging back against the wall when Bones shoves forward and swallows him down, mercilessly coaxing out the last few spurts with his tongue.

It’s not fair, Jim thinks, that Bones is so good at this. At kissing, at fucking, at taking Jim apart. It’s too much, the tortuous heat of Bones’ mouth, but he wants it all. He lets Bones lick and nuzzle at him until he’s gone half-soft, his cock twitching valiantly as he tries to keep from slipping down the wall in a useless heap.

Bones finally pulls off when he’s satisfied Jim’s utterly wrecked, his tongue flicking out briefly across his lips, and frowns down between Jim’s legs. “You’ll still be putting that in me later, won’t you?”

Jim hears himself make a wretched noise. He uncurls his fingers from Bones’ head, strokes one hand down to Bones’ cheek, and feels a bit like crying when Bones absently leans into his touch. “Anything you want,” he says. “Anything.”

Bones closes his eyes, then turns his face, pressing a kiss into the palm of Jim’s hand. His stubble scrapes against Jim’s fingers, his lips unbearably soft when he smiles. “That a promise?”

“I promise.” In that moment, Jim would promise him all the moons of Jupiter. He pushes his thumb against Bones’ red lip and exhales shakily when Bones’s tongue flicks out at it.

Bones kicks him out after that. “You’re distracting as hell,” he says, when Jim makes a wounded noise and stands there dripping all over the bathroom floor. “Go wait outside. And Jim—”

“ _What_ ,” Jim grumbles, shaking water off his feet.

Bones taps on the door until he looks up. His face is unreadable through the distortion of glass and condensation, but his words make his intentions crystal clear. “Don’t you dare get started without me.”

…………..

Leonard doesn’t leave the shower until his fingers are pruny and his head’s on straight again. His cock’s still defiantly hard against his hip, but what the hell else is it supposed to do, knowing what’s waiting for him on the other side of the door?

He knew what to expect when he told Jim what he did, and he’s not disappointed when the door opens and he’s treated to the sight of Jim sprawled on his bed, jerking off with a careless ease that makes Leonard want to slap him in the head and kiss him all in one.

Leonard leans against the doorway, swipes his wet hair out of his eyes, and thinks that Jim looks damned good like that. _In his bed_ , his mind supplies unhelpfully. And God, Leonard wants him there, wants him to stay as much as he did this morning, and he looks at Jim now and tries not to remember how much it hurt when he came out of the bathroom and saw that empty bed with the sheets all made up. Like nothing had ever happened.

Like nothing ever could.

“I gave you one job,” he says, to keep his heart from breaking.

Jim’s eyes snap open, and he lifts his head, peering at Leonard unabashedly from between his spread knees.

“One job,” Leonard says again, shaking his head in mock disappointment. He pulls at the towel knotted loosely around his hips, but doesn’t let it drop. Jim makes a quiet strangled sound in response. “You ever think with anything north of your dick?”

“I resent that,” Jim protests, pushing himself up on his elbows. “I think with all directions equally.” His cock sways unconvincingly when he releases it, and Leonard’s eyes drop to it pointedly before dragging back up Jim’s body to his face. It’s a good view on all counts, especially when Jim squints up at him and flushes an interesting shade of red.

“Guilty until proven otherwise.” Leonard kneels on the bed, his thigh between Jim’s legs, and looks down at him. His expression is set to deliberate disinterest, but he can’t help the way his lips press together, the tip of his tongue flicking out before he catches himself. Jim’s cock twitches under his scrutiny, and Leonard bites the inside of his cheek to counter the aching response in his chest.

“Come here,” Jim says, and there’s a gravity in his tongue that makes Leonard’s heart stutter, makes him wonder wildly if—

“Come here already. God, Bones, you’re so hot.”

Something loosens abruptly between them, an unspoken tension dissipating to something mindless, something utterly uncomplicated.

 _It’s just fucking_ , Leonard thinks blankly, and he smiles. A slow, wicked, anonymous smile, one that he knows Jim likes. “Come where?” He reaches out, sets his hand so lightly over Jim’s chest that he might as well not be touching him at all. “Here?”

Jim breathes in, and his skin presses damp and hot into Leonard’s palm.

“Here?” Leonard moves his hand, brushes his thumb over Jim’s bottom lip. It’s soft and warm, Jim’s breath stuttering over his knuckles when he exhales again.

“Anywhere. Everywhere. I don’t care.” Jim shifts agitatedly beneath him, tugging at the sheets. “Just _do_ something.”

Leonard sits back on his heels and considers him. Jim looks good, looks so goddamn good all spread out and impatient like that, and he knows it. Knows that Leonard knows it, too, from the way he pouts winningly and bats his eyelashes. As if he’s ever had to work for Leonard’s attention.

Leonard snorts and smacks Jim’s thigh, just hard enough for it to sting. “Quit that,” he says over Jim’s offended noises. He leans over for the lube, slapping away Jim’s halfhearted attempts at groping him on his way over. They’re both on the verge of brawling like a couple of kids on the playground by the time Leonard gets his weight over Jim’s hips, pinning him down with a glare and a hand over his sternum.

“Down, boy,” Leonard says, cocking an eyebrow, and to his surprise, Jim goes slack and compliant, watching him curiously.

“Keep your hands there,” Leonard adds impulsively.

Jim’s fingers fidget briefly at his sides. “No fair.”

“Life’s not fair, kid.” Leonard shifts up onto his knees, reaching behind him to slick Jim up. He nearly gives up on the whole venture right there, because he can get off three, five times just by watching Jim’s face when he does this. He looks almost like he’s in pain, face red and mouth gasping, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes so bright and glassy they look otherworldly. Sometimes, Leonard wonders how he can be real at all.

Leonard sinks down on Jim’s cock before he can outthink himself, every thought flying blissfully from his head at the first stretch, the slight burn, the way he finally feels complete as Jim fills him. He’s gasping by the time he’s fully seated, his chest heaving as he tries to steady his breathing, to draw air into lungs that’ve forgotten how to work.

“Oh God,” Jim says tightly, his hands twitching up from his sides to grasp at Leonard’s thighs. “Oh God, Bones…”

“Hands off,” Leonard pants, clenching around Jim until the kid’s flopping weakly beneath him, swearing in every language he knows and a few that Leonard doesn’t even recognize. “I told you.” He can barely remember the point of all this now, only that there _is_ one, and he’ll be damned if he lets Jim get his way now.

Jim whines halfheartedly, sweat dripping down his temple, but he drops his hands again, clenches his fingers in the sheets instead. Leonard curves his spine, covers Jim’s hands with his own, and uses the leverage to lift up an inch before grinding down again. His skin’s on fire, his heart’s a millimeter from bursting from his chest; he’s never felt more alive and like he’s dying all at once. He lets his head roll back, a soft noise escaping when he finds the right angle.

“Bones,” Jim breathes quietly, reverently. He turns his palms upward, fumbles until his fingers fit between Leonard’s. “Bones.”

“Don’t do that,” Leonard grates, even as he tightens his grip, even as he feels Jim throbbing inside him, feels an answering heat rising low in his stomach. “Don’t—”

Jim suddenly surges up from beneath him, twisting sideways as he goes. He’s flipping Leonard over and shoving back inside him in one movement before Leonard realizes he’s moving, and Leonard nearly fucking comes on the spot. He gives a loud, startled moan, feels a wave of feverish delight when Jim slams his hands by his head and pins them there.

“Bones,” Jim says again, low and deliberate this time. He tilts his hips, pushes impossibly deeper, grins down wildly when Leonard curses and gasps. “Oops, didn’t catch that.”

“You weren’t—supposed to _move_ ,” Leonard groans. He’s so hard he can barely breathe, his pulse hammering so hard he knows Jim can feel it, their hands still pressed together. “You… _brat_.”

“Sorry,” Jim says, clearly not sorry at all. He lets go of Leonard’s hands, which Leonard regrets for all of two seconds before Jim reaches between them and takes ahold of his cock instead. He doesn’t jerk Leonard off, only holds him loosely, letting the movement of his hips provide all the friction. It’s barely enough, it’s _maddening_ , and it’s so like Jim that Leonard bites his lip and refuses to beg for more.

When the reaction he’s looking for isn’t forthcoming, Jim raises an eyebrow and starts talking instead.

“You’re so good like this, so fucking good, Bones, you have any idea?” Low and unsteady against his ear, Jim’s face pressed to the side of his neck as he fucks deeper into Leonard with slow, rolling thrusts. “You have any idea what you…what you do….to me, fuck—”

Leonard grabs at the top of the mattress desperately, his face hot and red. He can barely breathe, Jim’s weight nearly bending him in half, and it’s the best he’s ever had. He doesn’t bother holding back his moans now, wraps his legs around Jim’s back and pulls him close enough so he can bite at Jim’s shoulder. He’s going to have bruises after this; they both are, and he doesn’t care.

“You’re so good, you’re so. You’re always.” Leonard can barely make out the fragments Jim’s muttering into his neck between kisses and licks, the occasional scrape of teeth that sends lust spiralling into the the wreck he’s already becoming.

At some point, Leonard realizes he’s let go of the mattress, his arms tight around Jim’s shoulders instead. Jim’s hand keeps his cock pressed to his stomach, his knuckles digging into Leonard’s flesh, and Leonard thinks he can come like this, with just the feeling of Jim’s skin against his and the taste of Jim’s sweat on his lips.

“More,” he groans, his hand traveling up the back of Jim’s flushed neck, grabbing at his tousled hair. “More, Jim, I need—”

Jim grasps his jaw and yanks him up into a hard, graceless kiss. It hurts, tastes more than a little like copper, and Leonard wonders which one of them’s bleeding or if it’s the both of them together. He whimpers into it anyway, lets Jim lick him open and give everything he has.

“Don’t talk,” Jim whispers into the corner of his mouth. “You drive me insane.”

…………..

“You drive me insane,” Jim confesses, and he feels Bones shudder all around him, nearly loses it right then and there when he realizes Bones is coming, his cock caught between their bodies and spilling all over his stomach, his chest. Bones’ mouth is open, his eyes closed in pain, in ecstasy, and Jim kisses him through it, licks the blood from his cut lip.

He’s caught breathless when Bones’ eyes open again, dazed and dark with something, _something_ in them that Jim can’t read, but by God, he wants to.

“Come here,” Bones says, and his hands slide down Jim’s back, take ahold of his hips and pull him in.

“Bones,” Jim sighs, half a marvel, half a protest, because he never wants this to end. Call him selfish, call him crazy, call him a brat who’s never wanted anything more than this before. “Bones, Bones, I—”

“Don’t talk,” Bones says, stealing the words right from his mouth, and when Jim finally cries out and finishes, trembling and burning in his arms, Bones’ lips are soft and wet against his cheek, the hollow of his eye.

Jim gives up and lets himself collapse, feels more than hears Bones’ resigned grunt as he takes Jim’s weight, his hands coming up again to squeeze Jim’s shoulders.

“I love you,” Jim  suddenly hears through the pounding in his ears, faint and breathless.

He doesn’t realize it’s his own voice until he lifts his head and sees the way Bones is looking at him, like Jim’s suddenly grown a third eye or the sky’s gone and fallen down around them in a million shattered pieces.

Jim pushes himself up immediately, ignoring his shaking limbs, his aching muscles, and he looks anywhere but at Bones’ wide eyes, at the look of utter bewilderment on his face as he stares up at Jim. “Shit, I…” He cuts himself off and shakes his head hard. His throat is tight and his eyes are burning, and he wishes desperately to be anywhere but here. “I gotta go.”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Bones protests, dazed and confused and Jim just wants to reach out and take his face between his hands, wants to kiss him until Bones understands, except he couldn’t _possibly_ do that. “Where are you—”

“I gotta go,” Jim repeats, and he all but flings himself from the bed, bending down to snatch his pants and tugging them up around his waist with clumsy fingers. “I’m sorry.”

“Jim—”

“It’s nothing,” Jim says, his voice rough and the word coming out unbearably harsh when he sees Bones attempting to follow, and Bones falls back onto the bed, a flicker passing over his face. Jim turns away before he can see more, before he can suffocate on nothing more than mortification, because _he didn’t ask for this_. “It’s nothing,” he mutters again, more to himself than anything.

“Take a jacket,” Bones says quietly from behind him, and Jim’s fingers fumble on the bottom of his shirt before he gives a jerky nod.

The door closes behind him with a definite click, and he stands alone in the dark. Bones is right, it’s cold, but he’s already numb.


	7. Chapter 7

Typical, Leonard thinks grimly, that the first thing Jim Kirk does at the first sign of an epiphany is to _run_.

But he’s not being completely fair, he admits to himself. At least Jim had the balls to say something, and in the end, Leonard did let him go.

 _Should’ve gone after him_. It’s morning now, bright enough outside that he’s run out of excuses to stay angry, and now he’s left pacing the bedroom in his underwear, checking and rechecking for responses to the five comms he let himself jab out over the course of the night. He wonders if Jim managed to find dinner. He wonders if Jim managed to find somewhere to sleep. Then he finds himself suddenly thinking of Jim in someone else’s bed, gasping for them, begging, and Leonard’s stomach clenches violently.

“Stop that,” he mutters aloud, then realizes he’s stopped dead in the middle of the room, glaring at the floor. “Stop.”

Despite everything, he nearly turns and barricades himself in the bathroom as soon as he hears the telltale sound of the dorm door opening. He can already hear the speech he knows the kid’s going to spill, as surely as he knows how much of an idiot he’s been all this time— _“Sorry about last night, Bones, really. Don’t know what came over me. Thai or Italian for dinner tonight, what do you think?”_

He hears a quiet footstep in the doorway and wheels around, so on edge that it takes him a second to realize just how utterly terrible Jim looks. Raccoon eyes, unshaven jaw, bedhead, the whole nine yards and then some, because Jim’s a fucking overachiever to the very end.

“Jesus, you look like shit,” Leonard finally says, when all Jim does is stare at him sadly like a deflated balloon. Even if he was angry, he doesn’t think he can last more than five seconds against that look. As it is, all it does now is remind Leonard of why he looks like that in the first place. “Did you sleep in the _street_?”

Jim winces a little and rubs at his cheek, his eyes sliding to the wall. “Went to Gaila’s,” he says, after a while. His voice is thin, cracking at the edges, and Leonard looks at him for a long moment. The silence between them sits there heavily like an unyielding wall.

“Okay,” Leonard says. It hurts a little less than he thought, though he knows the real thing will come later, once the numbness wears off. _At least you know Gaila,_ he tells himself. _At least it wasn’t some stranger_. He tells himself this, and then thinks that as much as— _fuck_ —as much as he loves Jim, there’s nothing Leonard wants to do more right now than give him a black eye. “Okay, then.” He nods once sharply, then turns around and reaches for his shirt. Stupid of him, to wait here like this, like he didn’t already know how it was going to go. Like he didn’t know from the very beginning how it was always going to go.

“Wait,” Jim suddenly says, just as Leonard pulls his shirt over his head. “What are you doing?”

“Dunno, Jim, what the hell’s it look like I’m doing?” Leonard tugs his shirt down roughly, then flips back the covers, looking for his pants. “You didn’t happen to check your comm, did you?”

“What? No, I didn’t think—”

“Well, good.” At least his dignity hasn’t been completely shattered yet. “You shouldn’t have bothered coming back so early. Rude to Gaila, don’t you think?”

“What?”

“I said it’s _rude_ —” Leonard finds his pants and straightens out the wrinkles with a firm snap, his voice low and fast and too angry, but if he tries to soften it, then the tears will come and that’s far worse than anything he can think of at the moment, “—to Gaila, leaving like that in the middle of something you started—”

“Bones, what the hell are you—”

“Should’ve stayed there, is all I’m saying. God forbid you run off on her in the middle of an important conversation like—”

“Will you _stop_ that?” A hand seizes his elbow, and Leonard curses as he’s swung around to face Jim.

“Let go, jackass.”

“I didn’t sleep with her.”

“I don’t care,” Leonard lies. His hands are clenched tight around his pants, and he glowers down at them, his fists between him and Jim. “I don’t. S’none of my business.”

“Well, it should be!” Jim says, clearly exasperated. Leonard wants to pop him in the side of the head; Jim’s got no right to be pissed at him after the night he’s had. “It should be, because—”

“Because you’re mad,” Jim says. “You’re mad because of last night, and it’s my fault so—so it _is_ your business.”

Leonard snorts, caught off guard by Jim’s sheer ridiculousness, and he shoves away to sit down hard on the bed, his pants all but forgotten now. “That was barely a proper sentence,” he says. “Must’ve been some night you had.”

“I went to her place and I bunked on the floor, Bones. That’s all, I swear. You think Uhura would’ve put up with anything else?”

“So if Uhura hadn’t been—”

“No! That’s not what I’m—will you just _listen_.” Jim drags his hands impatiently through his hair, mussing it even further until he looks more than half wild, his eyes feverishly blue despite the dark circles beneath them. “Just let me explain.”

…………..

He’s practiced this, after all, over and over under his breath while Gaila snored in her bed and Uhura typed up term papers in the corner of the room with a grim determination that forbade any interruption. He has a Plan, an Outline, and all that flies out of his head as soon as he steps into the bedroom and sees Bones standing there in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but his black briefs and the look that Jim knows he usually reserves for the dimmest of first-years.

“Let me explain,” he tries again, and Bones’ eyes narrow ominously. Jim bites his lip, looks down at the floor briefly before glancing up again. “Please.” He can see Bones’ inner struggle playing out clearly across his face before weary curiosity wins out.

“Go on, then.”

Jim takes a deep breath, then another, then hurries on to speak when Bones starts looking aggressively impatient. “I didn’t mean it to turn out like this, all right? First off, you should know that. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“Oh, swell, that’s just—” Bones snaps his mouth shut again at the look on Jim’s face, then crosses his arms and waits again.

“I didn’t mean for it…to happen,” Jim starts again. It’s harder to say this than he thought, the words stumbling over each other uselessly in his mouth. “Not like that. It was—just a mistake, all right? Honest. I knew what I was getting in. I always did. It’s just that—” He breaks off with a groan, because he doesn’t think he can do it, after all, and this is it. This is where he’s going to die, right here in front of the man he’s unbearably in love with. He looks hard at the wall, one hand jumping up to rub at the back of his burning neck. “It’s just that one day you looked at me and…it changed things. For me. Towards you.”

Bones is staring at him oddly now, mouth parting like he’s working up to say something, and Jim hurries on before he loses the last remaining shred of his nerves.

“But like I said, just a mistake. To say it, I mean, not the…the other thing. It’s not fair to you, I know, and it doesn’t have to change anything, okay? You don’t have to leave or—or kick me out or, I don’t know, whatever the hell it is you probably want to do right now—”

“It wasn’t.”

“I just, God, I wish I could take— what?” Jim blinks rapidly, caught off guard. Bones is looking down at the floor, studying his bare feet. Jim wants to step forward, wants to pull him into his arms, wants to fall to his knees for him, but his own feet are frozen where they stand. The icy silence between them cracks with a resounding echo in his mind.

Bones glances up at him, and there’s something fighting just beneath the surface of his expression, threatening to break free at the corners of his mouth. “It wasn’t a mistake,” he says quietly. “What you said. It never was. So don’t…” A muscle in his jaw jumps, and Jim’s eyes snap to the telling movement. “Don’t you fucking apologize, Jim Kirk.”

Jim opens his mouth, stops, then closes it again when nothing miraculously comes out. Bones is still watching him carefully through his eyelashes, starting to look distinctly apprehensive now, and Jim realizes abruptly that this, this whole thing, is fucking ridiculous. When the hell did they start treating each other like this, like strangers who’ve barely said five words to each other when all this time, _all this time_ —

“Do you—” he blurts, heart in his mouth.

“Of course—” Bones says loudly over him. His shoulders hunch defensively, like a bull readying itself to charge.

“You—”

“ _Yes_.”

Their words fall together, tangled and tumbling until Jim’s dizzy with it, his pulse hammering away in his ears, his throat. They stare at each other, breathless, Bones’ eyes wide and wild as he all but glares at Jim, chest heaving like he’s run a marathon.

In the end, all it takes is a small, desperate sound, and Jim doesn’t even know which one of them it comes from before he’s tripping across the space between them, flattening Bones against the bed with his momentum.

“You should’ve said,” Jim can’t seem to stop repeating, even as he clutches Bones tighter and tugs him close, mouthing at his bare shoulder, his neck, the coppery cut on his jaw where he missed a spot shaving that morning. He can barely breathe, his nose and mouth full of Bones’ smell, his taste, like nothing he’s ever had before. He can’t imagine it any other way. “Bones, Bones, you should’ve—should’ve _said_ , I didn’t—”

Bones growls and shoves him down by the shoulders, and then Jim’s staring up at him from the mattress, lips stinging and warm and his face flushing red as he squirms under Bones’ weight. “You think I didn’t want to?” Bones demands. His fingers dig hard into Jim’s skin, barely clad hips grinding against Jim’s even as he speaks. Their bodies have always known what they want, what they _need_ ; Jim thinks that Pike’s completely wrong about him being a genius, after all. “You think I didn’t look at you every damn night and _want_? You think I didn’t want _you,_ you assheaded idiot _—”_

“Bones,” Jim interrupts, even as he feels himself turning redder.

“—how could I, huh? How could I say something, I didn’t know if you’d run or break my damn nose—”

“Bones!”

“I love you too, goddammit,” Bones snaps, and now he looks horrifically close to tears. He frowns harder as if to hold it back, and Jim reaches up to try and stroke the hard lines away from his mouth. Bones’ lips part under his fingers, press against them in a soft kiss. “I love you.” His voice cracks, wavering uncertainly.

“Jesus,” Jim says helplessly, because Bones has always been able to undo him like this. He wraps an arm around Bones’ shoulders and pulls him down for a proper kiss, opens his mouth to Bones’ when Bones groans and melts against him, his weight settling between Jim’s legs. Jim spreads his knees wider, tucks his feet behind Bones’ thighs to keep him in place, and he moans when Bones rocks desperately against him. Even through the layers of clothing between them, he can feel the heat of Bones’ body burning against his own, his cock hard and insistent against Jim’s hip.

Bones is the one who finally wrenches his face to the side to gasp for air, his mouth swollen and red. Jim kisses at his jaw, his cheek, the corner of his eye, and fumbles a hand down between them to undo his belt. He’s so hard that he’s going lightheaded, his clothes suddenly hot and smothering and altogether too inconvenient. At the first jingle of the buckle, Bones’ face clears a little, and suddenly he’s pulling back to sit on his heels, knocking Jim further up the bed in the process.

Jim makes noises of protest at the loss of Bones’ weight, only to shut up quickly when he realizes Bones is busy stripping him, eyes narrowed and impatient and his hair standing wildly on end like he’s already been fucked seven ways to heaven.

“You’re beautiful,” Jim tells him, and Bones’ hands jerk a little against his thighs before he grunts and resumes wrestling Jim’s pants off, a flush of color bright across his cheeks.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’ll be ridiculous if I want,” Jim argues automatically. “How dare you suggest otherwise.”

Bones gives a truly impressive eye-roll. He tosses Jim’s pants away blindly before diving back down, and before Jim can do more than settle his hands on Bones’ shoulders, there’s a hot wet tongue on the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.

“Oh,” Jim says. Bones’ mouth moves higher, the edge of his teeth just barely pressed into soft flesh, and Jim’s fingers clench involuntarily, his own mouth falling open. “ _Oh_.” There’s a faint scattering of freckles under his hands, and he pushes his thumb against one unthinkingly. Bones moans quietly against him, his throat working restlessly, and Jim makes an embarrassing noise in response when that damnably impossible mouth comes to rest on his cock, curving around the outline through his underwear.

Bones’ hands settle on his thighs, keeping them spread and pinned to the bed. The position leaves him open, vulnerable, and it only takes one peek down at the obscene view of Bones’ head between his legs for Jim to groan and fumble for a pillow, dragging it down over his face.

The mouth stops, then goes away, and he feels more than hears Bones’ sigh. “What’re you doing, kid.”

Jim mumbles incoherently into the pillowcase.

“Jim.” The hands on his legs squeeze briefly, then relax, and he can’t help but make a disappointed sound when he feels Bones shifting away. He still can’t bring himself to leave the safety of the pillow, doesn’t even know why he feels like he needs it now, of all times. God knows they’ve done far more.

“We don’t have to,” he hears Bones say, and he realizes with a jolt that Bones is _nervous_. It’s such a shocking revelation that he lets Bones tug the pillow away. Bones looks down at him, lower lip pinched between his teeth. “If you don’t want to, we can stop.”

Jim shakes his head vigorously. He’s going to say something, he’s sure of it, but it’s still stuck obstinately in his throat. Some of the uncertainty in Bones’ eyes fades, and his mouth softens. “What do you want, then?” he asks, and just like that, like a lightning strike, Jim knows.

“Don’t stop,” he says, then reaches up and drags Bones down by the back of his neck when Bones hesitates. Bones follows eagerly enough once he realizes what Jim’s doing, and their mouths meet again in a hungry clash. They’ve kissed before this, dozens of times, but Jim’s heart still pounds like the very first time. He can’t get enough of the way Bones tastes, he decides. He doesn’t think he ever will. Bones’ hips slide against his, almost by accident, and Jim hooks his legs around Bones’ waist, pulling him forward.

“Fuck,” Bones mutters distinctly against the corner of his mouth, and Jim breathes him in, digs his nails into Bones’ hairline and holds him close. He’s fucking crazy for ever thinking he could give this up, he decides. For thinking he could give up Bones’ eyes, his hands, his lips, the way he says Jim’s name like nobody ever has before.

He spreads a hand over the curve of Bones’ ass and guides the next thrust, an edge of need in his voice when Bones’ cock slides against his own, damp fabric dragging between them. He’s so hard he can barely breathe, his pulse hammering in his gut, his cock, every inch of him that’s pressed against Bones’ bare skin.

“Eager, are we?” Bones asks. His voice is rough, his eyes gone hooded and dark, glittering as he tilts his head back and regards Jim.

“Why would you even ask that,” Jim says, “and besides,” he adds, a little more hesitantly now. He doesn’t know if he’s allowed to bring this up, now that they’ve said what they’ve said. He arches his back and grinds against Bones’ cock again, grinning at the splutter it incites. “You promised we could do it this way.”

Bones goes still above him, and Jim immediately regrets saying anything. “Or not,” he amends swiftly. “Face down, ass up, right? No problem, I’ll just—”

“Shut up,” Bones says, exasperated, but his hands on Jim’s waist are soft, tender. “Let a man get a word in sideways, will you?” He rubs soothing circles into Jim’s skin as he speaks, thumbs dragging intimately against Jim’s hips, and that alone is distracting enough that Jim gives a startled yelp when Bones pinches him unexpectedly.

“Why are you so _mean_?” Jim complains, but he lifts his hips to help when Bones snorts and proceeds to strip them of their underwear.

“Because sometimes, Jim, you say the stupidest things,” Bones says, but he’s smiling when he leans back down, pushing his face against the corner of Jim’s jaw. “But you’re mine.” He growls the last word into Jim’s throat, his nose pressing beneath Jim’s chin, and Jim nearly comes on the spot.

“Fucking hell,” he stutters, when he’s got a grip on himself again. “ _Bones_.”

Bones’ responding hum is annoyingly smug, but Jim can’t complain when Bones promptly leans over him to dig out the lube. He’s nearly far gone enough to roll Bones over and sit on his cock right then and there, but Bones’ lips on his cheek soothe away his impatience, slick fingers nudging his thighs wider apart, ignoring his cock and sliding behind his balls.

“Come on, give it to me,” Jim hears himself saying, and part of him knows this is really fucking embarrassing, begging for it like this. It’s only a small part, though, and easy to ignore when the rest of him is burning for _more_. “Just come _on._ ”

Bones stretches him so slowly that Jim ends up blinking back frustrated tears, biting his lip to keep from making more noises he may regret. He tries to reach between them and grab Bones’ wrist, only to have his hand caught and pinned back against the mattress, Bones’ fingers lacing between his.

“Behave,” Bones murmurs. He withdraws his fingers, tracing his fingernail up the back of Jim’s balls and up the underside of his cock, and Jim gives an agonized groan.

“You’re killing me,” Jim grumbles, digging his heels into the bed. He feels exposed, vulnerable, which only makes him feel stupid considering how many times Bones has seen him like this already.

“I could stop.”

“I’ll kill _you_.” Stupidity is swiftly replaced by desperation; Bones _can’t_ stop, fuck, Jim might actually cry if he does—

“Well, then.” This time, Bones gives him no warning before pressing his fingers back in, crooking them relentlessly until Jim’s a gasping mess under him, his face red and sweaty and probably hideous as fuck. He grabs at Bones’ shoulder with his one free hand, tugging him down until he can bury his face against Bones’ neck, squeezing his eyes shut.

Bones turns his head and kisses him, sucks at Jim’s tongue as he continues fucking him open with his fingers. God, Jim’s always loved Bones’ hands, so large and expressive—how many times has he looked at them and wondered what they’d feel like, what they’d taste like—

He whines into Bones’ mouth when the fingers leave him, and Bones’ teeth close around his bottom lip briefly before letting go. When Jim opens his eyes, Bones’ are wide open, watching him from inches away. They’re too close like this, and still not close enough.

“I want you,” Jim tells him, the words barely more than a jerky exhale, and he watches Bones’ pupils dilate.

“God,” Bones grates out, and then he’s pushing back to sit on his heels, his movements jerky as he slicks himself up, eyes never leaving Jim’s face. “You can’t just say it like that. S’unfair.”

“Huh?” Jim’s going out of his mind, listening to the lewd wet sounds of Bones’ hand on his cock, knowing where it’s going to be, _wanting_ it there with every atom of his existence. “Less talk, more— _fuck_.” He flails blindly, clutching at Bones’ arms as Bones pushes into him, those stupid big hands pulling Jim’s hips towards him, working himself deeper.

Bones laughs breathlessly above him, curving forward until his forehead’s pressed against Jim’s shoulder. Jim wraps an arm around his neck, dragging him closer, and they both shudder when Bones finally bottoms out, his hands clenched so tightly around Jim’s hips that Jim’s certain there’ll be marks there later.

 _Good_.

He can feel Bones’ heart hammering alongside his, two separate rhythms that stumble together and apart again, every ragged breath Bones takes ghosting warm and damp over his skin. Bones shifts slightly, and Jim gives a low, startled moan. Bones goes still again, and Jim claws feebly at his back in frustration.

“ _Move_ ,” Jim demands, clenching down until Bones groans and lifts his head to glare down at him. It’s not as intimidating a look as he probably thinks, not with his eyes glazed over and his face bright red, mouth open and panting as he licks his lips and swallows audibly.

“I love you,” Bones says, and he looks even more surprised than Jim as he says it. They stare at each other for a split second, then something seems to solidify, falling into place as Bones looks down at him with burning eyes. “God, I love you.” He kisses Jim’s forehead, his temple, mouthing his way down Jim’s cheek as he finally begins to move, rocking them slowly together on the ruined sheets. “I love you, love you, Jim—”

Jim chokes out something that might’ve been Bones’ name, might’ve been something else altogether. The back of his eyes are prickling, and he squeezes them shut, feeling dampness spilling out anyway. He hurts, fuck, he hurts, like his chest is splitting open from the inside out, but this isn’t the cold hurt from last night. This is something warm and bright and something worth dying for.

Bones takes him slowly, relentlessly, and Jim doesn’t want it any other way. His cock drags against Bones’ stomach with every roll of their hips, pleasure sparking lazily in his gut, burning pleasantly in his veins.

“Don’t,” Bones murmurs, as he kisses away the wetness in the corners of Jim’s eyes. “Hate seeing you cry.”

Jim turns his head and kisses him on the lips, and he tastes his own tears on Bones’ tongue, a burst of saltiness that disappears when Bones moans and licks deeper into his mouth.

He doesn’t know how much time passes before Bones’ hips shudder forward, throwing off their rhythm, and Bones clutches at him, panting.

“Sorry, sorry, I, just gimme a sec—”

“Do it,” Jim tells him. He runs his palms down Bones’ spine, fingers slipping on the sweat gathered in the small of his back, and squeezes Bones’ ass until Bones grunts and moves again, driving harder into Jim. “Let me feel you, come on, Bones, come on, I’ve been _waiting_ —”

Bones’ hands slide down to Jim’s thighs, spreading them wider as his thrusts stutter and slow, his fingers tightening until Jim feels each fingernail scratching into his skin. He’s going to feel this later, he knows it. Might not even be able to walk to the bathroom after this, he thinks, deliriously happy at the thought. He fumbles down between them, knuckles bumping against Bones’ stomach, and grazes Bones’ cock with his fingertips as he withdraws, feeling the slick, hot skin where he’s stretched around Bones’ length, and Bones makes a wild sound deep in his chest, his entire body jerking.

“That’s it,” Jim whispers, clenching tightly around him, and Bones buries his face against Jim’s throat when he comes, his groan deep and loud enough for Jim to feel it down to his toes. All Jim can do is hold on tight, grinning loopily when Bones pulls out just enough to fuck into him again, come dripping and smearing over the both of them.

Jim’s content to lie there for the rest of his life, for all he cares, wrapped around Bones and just feeling him breathe. He has an idea now of why Bones avoided this before; there’s no way either of them could hide when they’re facing each other like this, so intertwined that he can’t distinguish the feeling of his own heartbeat.

Then Bones suddenly pushes away, sliding down the bed, and Jim has a split second to feel hurt before Bones takes Jim’s cock into his mouth, his tongue pressing softly but insistently beneath the head. Jim grabs at him instinctively, shocked, and Bones groans when Jim tugs at his hair, his eyelashes dark against his cheek as he frowns and swallows Jim deeper, sucking him with transparently clear intent.

It’s impossible to last much longer, not with Bones making those damn breathy sounds, like he can do this for hours, for days, and never get enough. Jim can never resist that mouth, and when Bones growls around him demandingly, he whimpers and feels himself coming undone, hips jerking until Bones pins him down and swallows everything he gives, lapping one final drop from the head of Jim’s cock as he pulls off.

Jim stares down at him dizzily, his vision blurry. “You’re a mess,” he hears himself say, the words tripping and spilling into each other, and Bones drags himself up to curl around him, licking pointedly at the corner of his mouth.

“You’re a mess, too,” Bones tells him, his voice rough, but he’s smiling. Jim kisses that smile and tries not to moan when he tastes his own come. He thinks he probably fails.

They’re dozing when Jim opens his eyes and focuses lazily on his pants hanging precariously off the edge of the bed. He reaches out without thinking, snagging them over Bones’ shoulder and fishing out his comm, intending to set it on the nightstand. He switches it on and sees five unread messages from Bones, all sent before he came back this morning. He’s curious enough now to lift his head off Bones’ chest to read the screen, blinking when he sees the first.

**Jim, where are you?**

Then, sent an hour later:

**God, Jim, do you even know.**

**Come back.**

Jim scrolls down and snorts.

**For fuck’s sake.**

And finally, according to the timestamp, received just five minutes before he woke that morning:

**Jim, you dumbass, I wanted to say it first.**

Jim can’t help the helpless laugh that quivers through him, his fingers tightening on the comm before loosening and dropping it, knocking it off the bed.

“What’s so funny?” Bones mutters, his lips shifting against Jim’s jaw.

“Nothing, just…” Jim shakes his head and tries to move closer, is faintly disappointed when he realizes they’re already pressed as tightly together as possible. “Feels like we’re doing things a bit backwards, doesn’t it?”

Bones pulls back and lifts an eyebrow and, fuck, seeing it happen this close up still does unspeakable things to Jim’s blood pressure. “How so?”

“Well, you know.” Jim gestures in a way that he hopes manages to encompass the scope of their activities over the past week. “Jesus, Bones, do you even _know_ how many times we’ve—”

“You bored already?” Bones asks, clearly amused. Jim blinks at him and then—oh, there’s Bones’ hand, stroking slowly down the length of his back. “Oh darlin’,” Bones says, and Jim’s heart hiccups violently at the way he says it, all slow and warm and earnest, “we’ve only just gotten started.”


End file.
